of eggs, and etiquette

Tristan and I met up yesterday afternoon for some coffee and conversation - which led to one of the more creative moments that I've had in recent memory. We had a lot to share about our amateur musical compositions and we even got to write and comment on the spot.

What really made it great was our game of renga writing; although the renga is supposed to be written by a minimum of four "players", the exercise was quite exciting and the result was very fulfilling for that evening.


So here is our 2-player version of the renga. In this 12-liner, Tristan and I had 6 lines each, one after the other. I wonder if anyone could guess who would have written which line. The title itself is one part Tristan, one part Michael. Here, I would rather the reader guess who wrote what.

Of eggs, and etiquette
I have some eggs in the fridge
That I'd like to throw off over a bridge
I wonder if they can learn to swim
Or remain intact on a whim

With shells dappled or white
Like the purity of angels, the divinity of light
Their souls oscillate in yellow
Like the ebb and flow of hope - a prayer for tomorrow

Their trajectory renders the abortive act
Hesitation plunges them to remain in the sack
So the crocodiles are saved by such sudden etiquette
They weep, they grumble for a sad fate met

Now, this for all intents and purposes is an unedited raw draft. At present we have no intention to make a literary edition of this particular game. I just want to be treated by the reader who could guess who wrote which line in the game. Tell me what you think.