Back to Barracks

I've taken a hiatus from blogging (as well as from almost everything productive) to get married and go on honeymoon. I had saved all my vacation leaves in 2006 to enjoy my December, and I did thoroughly enjoy my vacation. One of the things I dreaded was my returning to work.

A series of organizational changes (still ongoing) makes me feel that my work is futile. There, I've said it. Nathaniel Branden related self-esteem to productivity in his book, The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem. Simply put, the more productive you are, the more self-esteem you have.

The problem is not that I'm not getting to produce work. It's that the work I produce does not make any difference. I won't justify this statement here. It is my intent to make a difference with my work, even when I feel that I'm not learning anymore. A big part of why I work for a corporation is to learn the business of managing a corporation. I'm not learning anymore.

Back in graduate school I got very fond of The Myth of Sisyphus as discussed by Albert Camus. Sisyphus in Greek Mythology is a figure who was punished by the gods by being made to roll a boulder up a hill, which upon reaching the top rolls back down. The punishment really is that Sisyphus has to do this every day for eternity. This is how my work feels like.

Not to say I'm miserable. I'm very happy in general - I just need to find a company that's a superior fit. Besides, how can I fail to be happy with a wedding photo like this:



And that's the game folks, Happy 2007!