That's the Game!

Reflection on our travels

2007-11-05T00:44:00.000+08:00

I just got home (0545h) and am waiting for my ride from NAIA. Below is the log I kept before Alecon and I left SIN:

My feet are very upset with me. Alecon and I have been walking all day around the nearby shopping district at Orchard Road. She found one of her hard-to-find dolls at a shop in Wheelock Place and she got me an iPod at the Lucky Center where we were attended to by this sweet old lady who also offered the lowest prices.

It's just about 1700h and Shuyun will be picking us up to witness some kind of changing of the guard ceremony and dinner before graciously bringing us to the airport. She has been such a charming and generous host. What a sweet girl.

It's Sunday so there's a horde of Filipinos on Orchard Road, especially at Lucky Center where a lot of services catering to Filipinos are based, similar to World Trade Center at Central in HKG. Singapore on Sunday you can see a dazzling display of skin colors, a cosmopolitan city much like HKG. In HKG one can meet a lot of French-speaking Africans who I haven't seen at all here.

---

Wow, this changing of the guard is a big deal here. There's quite a crowd that turned up at the Presidential Palace gate where the gurds will pit on a show after marching down from Orchard Road. As can be expected, it's quite a mixed bag for such a cosmopolitan city. I see whites in their summer getups, Hong Kongese and Koreans glammed up, Filipinos on furlough, Mainland Chinese, Indians, Malay women alled covered up in bright gold fabrics, babies in strollers, and us.

I think the crowed swelled 20% more in the time it took to write the last paragraph.

The show was quite fascinating. The Military Police put on a skillful display of martial rifle juggling. I remember those miserable days back at CAT and ROTC not without some nostalgia.

We had dinner at this Japanese restaurant where they had good shake sashimi and a mean katsu curry. I had sweet cold sake and got to be loud, talkative, and personal (in sharing stories). Afterwards we took a drive through Little India which was so bright and festive due to the Deepavili celebration (festival fo lights). The Chinese here regard Indians as too shifty when it comes to money, and they're treated as third class citizens in Malaysia and in the Philippines as well. The Chinese think Malays are lazy, even in Malaysia the local Chinese feel the same way.

In the Philippines the Indians are most known for usury. The loan shark reputation has cast them as bogeymen used to scare children - if they don't behave the Bumbay will take them away.

---

It's only 2130h and we're already queued ad the check-in counter at the Budget Terminal. Departure time is 0040h, past midnight, but these Filipinos who like us have nothing better to do are already jockeying for good seats. The thing is, the plane has t exits so being stuck in the rear may prove to be fortuitous - as it was in KUL. However, I think NAIA will use a tube thingy to alight the passengers so it really does pay to get seated in front.

---

It may not be the Grand Tour, but I do feel a great broadening of perspective after this current trip. Too bad there wasn't enough time for Thailand, but it's really good to discover young Asia (HKG, MCU, KUL, SIN) - nations/cities that haven't been around for too long and yet possess so much character if not vitality.

Here ends our international Honeymoon. This stop has been the best yet. We went to 4 interesting cities in less than a year's time and met and bonded with a lot of interesting people. I certainly feel that I've discovered so much about people and how the world works and doesn't. I would then ask myself what good I can make out of this learning, but for now, having discovered, seen, touched,heard, and tasted is good in itself.

Adventures in KUL (day 2)

2007-11-01T18:16:00.000+08:00

Here's a partial log of the notes I took throughout the day:

We're back at Berjaya Times Square, considered by many here as a disaster of a mall - in a city of many many malls. Right now we're all enjoying 30-minute foot massages by a bunch of Chinese reflexologists. I hope my ankle gets better because I've been limping since last night.

I got my Masterpiece Starscream, which is why we went back to this mall. The availability and prices of Toy Express can't be beat. The thing is, the edition I got (which is gorgeous) is actually much different from the Masterpiece ed. designed by Shoji Kawamori which I was hoping to get. It may turn out that the price back home may end up being better, because Toy Express valued that ed. at RM 700.00 which is ridiculous.

But what I did get is quite awesome. It's spectacularly detailed, and faithful (if not entirely accurate) to the G1 version of the TVseries. Someday I will get that Shoji Kawamori sculpt, perhaps when (if) I get a fat bonus.

---

This morning we went around Francis' less-frequented places in KUL, except maybe for the Bird Park which is the largest indoor aviary in Asia. At first I intended to properly document each specie of bird I'd photograph, but the sheer varaiety is staggering. Had I done that I would have robbed myself of a great relaxing morning through lush greenery amidst waterfall structres, bridges, and birds.

---

I finally found 6 pairs of truly outrageous socks. They actually have exclusive members-only socks boutiques here, though I was able to get mine at the non-exclusive butik i-socks here at Berjaya Times Square. I need jeans next.

---

Hung out at Borders bookstore and almost broke down. There were so many manga titles that I wanted: Nausicaä, Beck, Nodame Cantabile, Evangelion; as well as the Yoshiyuki Sadamoto artbook. I can't possibly afford them all. I'm girding my loins for the Revoltech series of toys that I want to get next year.

(I haven't been able to log our night-time expedition - mostly gastronomic, and I haven't posted most of the photos)

Here's a gallery of the photos from the aviary.

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=11547&l=eaf7b&id=512187143

Adventures in KUL (some of it anyway)

2007-10-31T12:18:00.000+08:00

It started with a knockoff Devastator (Constructicons) only that it was scaled better than the smallish one I have in our bedroom. I ended up buying a TF Classics Optimus Prime and Ultra Magnus set, a Movie version Starscream in G1 colors (!), and reserved a masterpiece edition G1 Starscream. All in I will have spent RM 670.00 (just over PHP 8,000.00). I got all of them at very good prices so I'm really loving it. Francis is competing! He also got the Devastator knockoff and just left me at the Dôme café to get the RM 450.00 Masterpiece ed Megatron. Both our Masterpiece editions are rarer than the ones available (especially in the Philippines) so I'm really happy about it.

We are at the Berjaya Times Square in downtown KUL. We had come directly from the KLCC where we had a great lunch at the Penang Café. This morning we went to the Batu Caves which is a Hindu shrine. There stood a humungous gold idol of one of their deities, at least as big as Mazinger Z.

I'll post photos soon! I'm still in the thick of things... Buying, spending, oh yeah!

The Mother of All Wars

2007-10-16T09:52:00.000+08:00

I have a great interest in history, especially that of battles, fighters, wars, and religion. It's quite remarkable how all of these topics are strongly correlated. Think of it this way: If you have a jealous God, then be prepared to fight! Then follow the horrible wars and awesome battles. I've found this awesome site, where broad histories are visualized in chronological form.

From the site:

How has the geography of religion evolved over the centuries, and where has it sparked wars? Our map gives us a brief history of the world's most well-known religions: Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism, and Judaism. Selected periods of inter-religious bloodshed are also highlighted. Want to see 5,000 years of religion in 90 seconds? Ready, Set, Go!

Awesome Gallery: Musee de Beaux Artes avec Photoshop

2007-10-03T08:31:00.000+08:00

Welcome to my Gallery! In the St. Ghostlightning Patron of the Arts Museum we now have an exquisite collection of canonical paintings updated in the contemporary context. Be warned: those offended by sacrilege need not enter.

Hmmm, it'd be interesting to see the expressions on the faces of these marble beauties! (^_~)

Perhaps this is a message for us to be careful in our selection of children's reading.

The quest for the Holy Grail took an interesting turn once they discovered who ate the cookies.

She wants to make it clear that she has nothing to do with this Holy Grail business.

They definitely needed a hero on that most darkest of nights.

Tokyo All-Female Brass Band Rocks Dragonball Theme

2007-09-14T14:23:00.000+08:00

I got this from one of my favorite blogs, TV in Japan! I promise you, it rocks beyond belief!

Yes, I'm an otaku and fan of many things Japanese. I've recently read Train Man by Nakano Hitori and was quite touched by the cleverness and earnestness of the novel. Enjoy your weekends. Laters.

What do you do with a B. A. in English?

2007-09-13T10:28:00.000+08:00

I've seen Avenue Q last Saturday, and although this isn't a review let me just say that it was fun and entertaining and totally worth seeing. After the opening number the lead character Princeton sings the song "What do you do with a B. A. in English?" and it's hard not to be affected, ten years after graduation...

Technically my degree is a Bachelor of Arts Majoring in Literature, as world lit and Philippine lit is well covered (that's a good thing). Nonetheless, it's the same degree as Princeton's. Here's the lyrics:

What do you do with a B.A. in English,
What is my life going to be?
Four years of college and plenty of knowledge,
Have earned me this useless degree.

I can't pay the bills yet,
'Cause I have no skills yet,
The world is a big scary place.

But somehow I can't shake,
The feeling I might make,
A difference,
To the human race.

Immediately after graduation I became an Assistant Lecturer at De La Salle University. I was going to be an academician and literary scholar in addition to my grandiose dreams of literary success. After two years of teaching, here are the jobs I've had:

real estate salesman (I didn't close a single sale)
advertising copywriter
insurance salesman (I didn't get my license)
news writer, broadcast producer, director, anchor (all for AM radio)
production assistant (for film, all for commercial advertising)
home security system salesman (I didn't close a single sale)
healthcare salesman/sales trainer
freelance consultant (training and human resources)
process security officer (MIS)
finance officer
paralegal (I wrote house bills for congress, those are would-be laws baby)
call center agent (only for training purposes)
human resources manager (organization development)
business development manager

That's quite a lot for ten years work experience. No, I don't put all of them in my CV. How did my degree directly contribute to landing these jobs, much less making me competent in any of them? No way. A B. A. in English did nothing for me. All my skills I learned on the job. As for smarts and talent, that could have been trained better in a more useful degree.

Having said all that, I love that I studied literature. I'm not exactly well off, but I'm a man with a plan and I'm executing. I feel like I've gotten away with having a useless degree. But did I get what I want (my aspirations while I was in college)? No. Everything changed.

Communication Twilight Zone

2007-09-10T16:56:00.000+08:00

I was in a weird moment with my friend Ming from Laos. I saw her online at ym and decided to bug her about setting up Skype.

I had set up Skype but I haven't had a single conversation save for the test message. Neither of us had headsets with microphones, my laptop had a built-in mic, and she could hear audio just fine. So I rang her!

It was pretty strange because I knew I was in a conversation because I could read her responses on ym. She told me there was about a 20 second lag for her messages to reach me, but hey! She could hear me loud and clear after not speaking to each other for months and months.

At some point she thought the connection got cut because I got silent. It was because I was sending replies over ym as well and I thought it would be pretty dumb to say what I was already typing.

In any case the conversation continued, going over mostly what I've been up to here at home. At some point, I started thinking about what was going on, and I'll do my best here to say it concisely.

I said, "It's pretty weird that I feel like I'm talking to myself, only that I'm getting responses from a computer screen window."

"It feels like, I'm praying... like talking to God or something."

Only that I did not hear a disembodied voice, but messages on my screen.

Also, I had thought since there was no voice on the other line to interrupt me, and given the 20 second delay on ym, that I'd go on and on talking unstoppably. During phone conversations, especially over long distances we sort of rush each other to finish so that we can talk again. We even do that face-to-face (as human beings). Instead, I was stammering in places. I didn't know where to start and where to take my monologue.

I don't know if I'm going to have another conversation like that in my life. It did have a singular experience kind of feeling. I definitely am getting myself a headset with mic, and maybe even a webcam. Definitely the world just got smaller in that conversation.

Facebook

2007-09-06T09:51:00.000+08:00

I've gone active on Facebook, and I'm very impressed.

My first social network was Friendster, signing up on November 2003. It was real cool because I got my future wife's phone number within two weeks of joining. How about that? I also joined MySpace, but I never got into it because the UI was and is far too ghastly. Also, I wasn't into the US independent music scene where MySpace really excels at.

I started using Friendster less and less when I got quite disappointed with their blogging utility. After I migrated That's the Game! on Blogspot it was pretty much downhill for me and Friendster. That said, most Filipinos favored it, perhaps ignorant or too lazy to explore other networks. This meant any instance where I met a new set of contacts, they would invariably become my contacts on Friendster.

Over the past year I've been active on Multiply, because of the ease of use and the quality of the contacts I have there. By quality I mean these contacts actually post good stuff on their blogs and I don't mind participating in the conversations at all. A lot of them maintain their blogs on Friendster as well, but like I said, blogging there is teh suxx0rz.

On to Facebook. The blog function on Facebook is simply posting on the Notes function. It's not special in any way. It's similar to Multiply that it can import posts from Blogspot, so I'm happy with that at least. The cool thing about Facebook is that there's so many applications that can be added, modified, and removed with total ease. These range from way to interact, like poking and sending virtual gifts to friends, to displaying identity information like places I've traveled, sports-related and pop-culture related applications like Harry Potter magic spells, up to nonsense weird fun like turning your friends to zombies and raising an undead army to fight werewolves and vampires who are all my contacts.
Right now I've just resisted the urge to join the war between ninjas vs. pirates, but I have succumbed to the Dark Side and became a Sith reclaiming dominance of the Force against the Jedis. I have a virtual aquarium populated by fish sent by friends. All this done in the space of a week.

Sure there's lots of spamming due to the number of applications people add and they invite their friends to, but that's not so bad because it's so much fun.

I'll keep my Friendster account and my Multiply account, but to all my contacts: Facebook is where it's at.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

2007-08-31T13:21:00.000+08:00

We Filipinos start hyping Christmas in August.

Every year I hear someone comment on how early we start playing Christmas songs on the radio compared to the previous year. It's accepted custom to start the Christmas season in September (the "ber" months), but this year I've heard Christmas songs as early as July, but played in earnest in late August.

This is my theory: August begins the pre-season hype. It picks up in September, when some buildings start displaying Christmas decor. In some cases, they just start turning on the lights they never bothered to take down from the past season. There will be some booths in supermarkets and department stores with Christmas-themed products. It dies down a bit in October, but October presents what I think is the eeriest juxtaposition: Snowmen and Santa Clause side-by-side with jack o' lanterns and ghosts. Halloween and Christmas together, nobody even notices how weird it gets in the city.

After All Soul's day the holiday festiveness picks up, leading to the month-long happy mess that is December. The seasonal celebrations continue through January (Three Kings' Day), and just kind of drifts away - because of the laziness in taking down decorations. My neighbor never bothered to take down the Santa's sled and reindeer lights at the side of their house just across ours.

What does this all mean? I love Christmas. I can't remember a single Christmas season when I wasn't happy or I didn't enjoy myself. Although every year there's less of us relatives due to the diaspora to Canada, just being together is good. Also, I have a new and much bigger family to celebrate with so it's not so bad.

Earlier we had a staff meeting planning our Christmas party. It's so much less about Jesus, but more of just the general fun and good cheer that the season brings. Soon the ads will come laying the guilt thick on how we all forget what Christmas is really about. I think the guilt is pointless. Nobody forgets Jesus on his birthday anyway. But from the tail end of August until then, we can all just have fun looking forward to having fun.

The lunar eclipse that I didn't see

2007-08-29T10:15:00.000+08:00

I know I've seen at least two total lunar eclipses in my lifetime, and at least two complete solar eclipses. It just bugs me that I can't remember exactly when those happened.

It's just so good there's such a thing as the internets and now I can find images like this (even though I missed out on last night's eclipse).

I've always been an astronomy fan, having known the names of the major stars by age 10. I was one of the few people who didn't mind so much when the blackouts came during the Ramos administration in the early-mid 90's. I just didn't have the resources nor the talent to pursue astronomy, or any degree in science for that matter.

In any case, I always enjoy a clear night sky. Too bad last night was a cloudy drizzle-blanket.

How to think

2007-08-21T15:27:00.000+08:00

In high school and throughout university, I've always been confounded by word problems (mathematics and science). Instinctively I thought that there was always a better way to solve the particular problem only that the instructions and givens did not allow for it.

Then I found this story here.

..."Some time ago I received a call from a colleague. He was about to give a student a zero for his answer to a physics question, while the student claimed a perfect score. The instructor and the student agreed to an impartial arbiter, and I was selected. I read the examination question:

"SHOW HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO DETERMINE THE HEIGHT OF A TALL BUILDING WITH THE AID OF A BAROMETER."

The student had answered, "Take the barometer to the top of the building, attach a long rope to it, lower it to the street, and then bring the rope up, measuring the length of the rope. The length of the rope is the height of the building."

The student really had a strong case for full credit since he had really answered the question completely and correctly! On the other hand, if full credit were given, it could well contribute to a high grade in his physics course and to certify competence in physics, but the answer did not confirm this.

I suggested that the student have another try. I gave the student six minutes to answer the question with the warning that the answer should show some knowledge of physics. At the end of five minutes, he had not written anything. I asked if he wished to give up, but he said he had many answers to this problem; he was just thinking of the best one. I excused myself for interrupting him and asked him to please go on.

In the next minute, he dashed off his answer which read: "Take the barometer to the top of the building and lean over the edge of the roof. Drop the barometer, timing its fall with a stopwatch. Then, using the formula x=0.5*a*t^^2, calculate the height of the building."

At this point, I asked my colleague if he would give up. He conceded, and gave the student almost full credit. While leaving my colleague's office, I recalled that the student had said that he had other answers to the problem, so I asked him what they were.

"Well," said the student, "there are many ways of getting the height of a tall building with the aid of a barometer. For example, you could take the barometer out on a sunny day and measure the height of the barometer, the length of its shadow, and the length of the shadow of the building, and by the use of simple proportion, determine the height of the building."

"Fine," I said, "and others?"

"Yes," said the student, "there is a very basic measurement method you will like. In this method, you take the barometer and begin to walk up the stairs. As you climb the stairs, you mark off the length of the barometer along the wall. You then count the number of marks, and this will give you the height of the building in barometer units."

"A very direct method."

"Of course. If you want a more sophisticated method, you can tie the barometer to the end of a string, swing it as a pendulum, and determine the value of g at the street level and at the top of the building. From the difference between the two values of g, the height of the building, in principle, can be calculated."

"On this same tact, you could take the barometer to the top of the building, attach a long rope to it, lower it to just above the street, and then swing it as a pendulum. You could then calculate the height of the building by the period of the precession".

"Finally," he concluded, "there are many other ways of solving the problem.

Probably the best," he said, "is to take the barometer to the basement and knock on the superintendent's door. When the superintendent answers, you speak to him as follows: 'Mr. Superintendent, here is a fine barometer. If you will tell me the height of the building, I will give you this barometer."

At this point, I asked the student if he really did not know the conventional answer to this question. He admitted that he did, but said that he was fed up with high school and college instructors trying to teach him how to think.

The student was Niels Bohr and the arbiter was Ernest Rutherford.

Now I'm not estimating myself the equal of these people. Only that whenever I was involved in student government and especially when I became a teacher I felt that there was always a better way for learning to happen.

I felt that students were being trained to excel in exams, and not necessarily become thinkers. Thinkers inevitably question and criticize the status quo, and it was very easy for me to villify the practice of education using this idea.

In any case, I really am in awe of talent. When I am in the presence of it, I'm just nuts about it. The story demonstrated talent to a superlative degree. I want people like that to work with.

Mr. Brightside

2007-08-14T09:11:00.000+08:00

And now for the finished video, here's Mr. Brightside by Tristan Jovellana productions:

The oddity of the talented Mr. Tristan

2007-08-13T09:11:00.000+08:00

When most people feel bad, they pursue some escapist activity such as drinking, eating, recreational drugs, etc. My best friend Tristan shot a music video, featuring us as the characters.

The video itself is The Killers' "Mr. Brightside", with Tristan playing the Brandon Flowers role, and playing Eric Roberts. Trixie fresh off the plane from Mexico plays the flappingly gorgeous love/possession interest.

What was so much fun is that we actually put on full costumes for the shoot. Well, we really couldn't duplicate the lavish 1920's/post-victorian period vibe but we did what we could and I dare say we looked great.

Here's a photo of the boys:

Of course, this shoot would not have been possible without the cooperation and support of my dear wife Alecon. Loveyoubaby!

Here's a short video of our wrap party:

Sicko

2007-08-09T13:43:00.000+08:00

This is not a review of Michael Moore's documentary.

At some point in my life I worked for/with an HMO. I really thought HMOs were a great idea. The idea was to provide health care, which is expensive and difficult to plan for. People could pay for plans as individuals, or get them as benefits provided by the companies they work for.

I never ever needed to use an HMO then. When I worked for PLDT I was provided complete and total coverage. It was quite awesome. I never got to use it, although my mother was able to reimburse some of her pharmaceutical costs through a separate HMO program for dependents and/or relatives of employees. I have a friend who had two major operations in as many years without spending a cent, both at the Asian Hospital in Alabang. That's quite remarkable.

I saw Michael Moore's Sicko some time ago. It's very difficult to watch it without getting angry. It supposedly documents the failures of the American Healthcare system while comparing it starkly against the seemingly utopian universal healthcare systems of countries such as Canada, UK, France, and Cuba (yes, Cuba).

I'm particularly alarmed because the Philippine HMO system is supposed to be based on the US model. Fortunately I haven't really heard of horror stories comparable to those documented in Sicko. Then again, both my parents are no longer covered by their former companies' health insurance since their retirement. My parents and Alecon's parents are not getting any younger and their medical needs are becoming more complex over time. This is a frightening scenario for both Alecon and myself - as these potentially prohibitive expenses in support of our parents are probably the biggest threats to our financial independence.

Alecon, as long as she works for PAGCOR has very good coverage for her folks. I can't say the same for myself.

This weekend I'll be able to test my personal HMO (provided by my employer) for the first time. Last month Alecon used her own benefit when I was rushed (more due to fuss than an actual emergency) to the emergency room at Cardinal Santos Medical Center in San Juan.

According to MedServ, I have unlimited medical consultations but I cannot reimburse any pharmaceutical expenses. All I need is to coordinate with the office of the designated MedServ representative at Cardinal Santos once. That shouldn't be a problem, but I guess it's the pharmaceutical expenses that really make medication expensive on the long term.

MedServ has a good reputation and is the preferred HMO of companies like Jollibee. We'll see if they live up to their reputation. I'm no expert in the actuarial science that goes into the HMO business - but I'm granted this coverage with only the corporate medical checkup as a screening process. In my experience working for/with an HMO it's actually difficult and rare to find individual policy holders. Most policy holders are corporate employees.

This makes me think that the underhanded tactics documented in Sicko won't be happening as much here (HMOs were shown to systematically and purposely sabotage policy holders to disqualify their claims). It's comforting in a way that I can rely on something outside of human discretion. However, that's a sad thing too I think.

I'm a geek

2007-08-03T12:50:00.000+08:00

See how much.

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Know when to shut up (or how to contribute positively by not interfering)

2007-08-02T09:23:00.000+08:00

It's easy to get caught up with your own "expertise".

However, I'm quite wary of the term "expert", as it implies not only skill and competence, but also a high degree of achievement. I'd rather go with specialty. Anyway, I found myself in the middle of a discussion regarding an important strategic action in the organization I work for. Since I have a background in organization development, there was a strong impulse in me to put a personal stamp on the said discussion.

This is exacerbated by the fact that I had a fair share of disagreements with the items proposed. For whatever reason, I withheld my opinion from the email threads and only asked questions when face-to-face with the proponents of the proposal, and not with the decision-maker.

I can't say I was completely sold by their arguments, but I opted to trust the decision-maker to distinguish quality. And I admit, I did not expect the overwhelming positive response the proposal met from the boss.

The boss spread the credit to the whole team, and in terms of content, I can't claim that the proposal contained any of my own contribution. I however believe, that by NOT BEING AN ASS, and insisting on my own "expertise" or specialization on the matter given my disagreement with some elements of the proposal, we were able to get this modest success (the big success will be the implementation).

Taking what's yours

2007-08-01T14:05:00.000+08:00

What a person deserves in terms of rewards or compensation is as sensitive a subject as religion in a presidential debate.

As employees, we place a large amount of trust that our supervisors will remember and take into account every single thing we did well (and conveniently forget all our cock-ups and mediocrities). Based on this recollection, we are accorded a raise, perquisite, or share of the business profits.

However, as managers ourselves we simply cannot remember everything our staff did well. More likely we recall every moment they let us down or annoyed us. We remember how our peers failed in one respect or another. But really, can our staff trust us to take into account every thing they did well?

Now, if one of my hypothetical staff members quits because I failed to recognize her accomplishments by giving her a raise (assuming she deserves it), I'm not sure I'll be impressed with her decision making.

The incident could have well been prevented if she actually asked for the raise and justified the request by accounting for her performance. If it's merited, then what stopped her from asking? If I was expected to keep a running tally of every staff member's contribution, and expected to dispense with the reward on her timetable, then it would compromise my own productivity to say the least. Not to say that I'll elect to be ignorant of these, rather the accountability for career rewards is shared by both manager and direct report.

So what I'm saying is that if it's yours, take it.

Fun with strangers

2007-05-25T10:55:00.000+08:00

I wish we can have this in movie theaters in the Philippines SOONEST!

I act younger than my age

2007-05-18T12:11:00.000+08:00

Whoa, and I always thought I acted older than my age. That's bubblegum psychology for you.

You Are 29 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

Life after angst (Part I)

2007-05-17T11:30:00.000+08:00

Oooh angst. Growing up in the '90s, angst was such a romantic concept, and I guess that made me the most romance-ridden adolescent this side of Nirvana's heart-shaped box.

I understand angst as a certain kind of melancholy, one that's closer to anger, caused by or correlated to frustration of all kinds in turn. Also related to it is some kind of confusion, which perhaps is a cause of frustration. So if I had to describe it in the first person, it would go like,

"I'm a little sad, and a bit angry because life frustrates me because I'm confused and don't understand what's going on and what it all means. I just want to be cool, dammit! And happy."

I wanted to write about this after having a series of conversations with my wife Alecon that started on our way home back from dinner last night. It went a little like this (not direct quotes okay?):

M: Are you happy that you married me?
A: Yes. Are you happy that you married me?
M: Yes. Are you happy that you're married?
A: Yes.
M: Me too.
(slight relieved stifled giggles all round)
M: It's like, that's one thing I don't have to worry about anymore.
A: Marriage, yes I know!
M: I feel relieved after reading all these peoples' blogs and their relationship angst.
A: Yes, me too; especially people our age.
M: Well, I'd get their cause for alarm, but even people 5 or more years younger, in their early-mid twenties, are writing all about their relationship angst, compounding their career and life-direction angst. So I do feel lucky.
A: Hmphf. You don't know half of it.

Yes, I do feel profoundly lucky. I also feel that it's not my circumstances that decreased my angst (for a net gain in overall happiness), rather it's my departure from angst, my abandoning it that I attribute to the net gain in quality circumstances in my life.

I think the key is the disappearance of confusion. As I supposed earlier, frustration is caused by confusion. We get upset and frustrated when we just don't get it. Now I'm not saying that the disappearance of confusion is a result of enlightenment, or figuring it all out, or knowing something I didn't know prior.

Someone asked me to consider that confusion is an inauthentic act. It is an act to be confused. It is inauthentic, or in bad faith because it allows me to avoid the responsibility of choosing an action and accepting its consequences.

WTF? Being confused is my fault? Well, put it this way: if confusion is a way of being, and being is an act in the present, then I am responsible for it. Instead of being confused, I could be asking quality questions to quality sources.

It's like, there's always going to be things that I don't know. But to be confused, is to avoid responsibility for my not knowing. Now I can take responsibility for my lack of ability in mathematics. Talent considerations aside, I may not end up being brilliant at math even if I fully applied myself, but certainly I would have better grades than I what I earned - or perform multiplication and division operations mentally.

Net result, no frustration with mathematics, zero angst about an inability to pursue a career in science (or even economics, finance, or social sciences dependent on statistical tools). What remains is an appreciation (however limited) for mathematics and science that allows me to enjoy hard science fiction to deeper extents.

So what's the meaning of all this? Is this some kind of prescription? An intellectual Prozac if you will? No. No. And no. These guys may just as well tell you:

Monkey Monkey Annabelle

2007-05-15T13:41:00.000+08:00

There was this variation of the game of tag when we were kids. The novelty is how the players pick the first "it". The group collectively chants (here's the complete lyric):

Monkey monkey Anabelle
How many monkeys did you see?
[Chant remaining number of players here, then count off]
And a-rikkitikkitee and a-blue-black sheep
Is-pell yes, y-e-s
Is-pell no, n-o
A-LIS!

I've been tagged by Althea, in some sort of social exercise where people get to share random facts about themselves. I thought about it, as initially I didn't feel like playing. I got to thinking about monkey-monkey and how much fun silliness can be, so here I am.

Instructions: Each player starts with 7 random facts/habits about themselves. People who are tagged need to write on their own blog about their seven things, as well as these rules. At the end of your blog, you need to choose 7 people to get tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them that they have been tagged and to read your blog!

1. I'm posting very little new material in my own blog but I find myself engaged in discussions in other people's blogs.
2. I used to be a staunch supporter of voting. Now I'm quite indifferent to elections.
3. My biggest (obvious) vanity is my handwriting. It's pretty.
4. My skin has vastly improved since I started using Olay Total Effects a month before my wedding (December 2006).
5. I'm outgoing, extraverted, and personable, but really I prefer to be alone for long stretches.
6. I majored in literature back in college, but I never really spent a lot on books until 2007; and most of them aren't literary.
7. I am geek enough to distinguish between SF and Sci-fi.

I tag: Alecon, Karl, Francis, Ming, Tanya, Kai, Betty

Why I'm not a self-help writer

2007-05-10T18:55:00.000+08:00

It's because sometimes, I'm an ass. An ass can't help itself to anything but

crap. or farting. I've read quite a few self-help books and I've read in most accounts that the author was an ass at some point in her life. Strangely enough, this doesn't comfort me. at all.

The worst kind of assness, or the being that takes on the nature of ass, is when I'm being an ass and I don't know it. Wait. There's something much worse. It's when I'm being a total ass, and I'm convinced that I'm a prince.

Right now, you guessed it. I'm the prince of asses. I'm a boss in a company. Nobody directly reports to me, but I outrank almost everyone. Tell me another situation where it's easier to unknowingly, unconsciously, and inexorably become the ass prince.

I just caught myself becoming the king of asses. I almost wrote a sentence invoking sympathy.

Oh no no no. No sympathy for me tonight. I'm not going to plead or make excuses by invoking circumstances. I will however, share that I've been so caught up with the things I'm doing and getting done, getting pleased with myself at every turn, that I've become less, much less sensitive to how I'm presenting myself to others.

I'm not being present to the present. If I were, then I would have avoided instances where I failed to acknowledge the contribution of others in an undertaking, or I'd get how withering my very presence is to someone whose work I'm not satisfied with.

On the other end of the vanity spectrum is self-flagellation. Any further writing like the preceding would be me boasting of my own sudden powers of self-awareness.

I don't have to be an ass anymore. I'm apologizing to the people whom I've offended, and move on. A self-help writing career isn't really a goal that lights me up. But to be a gentleman, is pretty inspiring right now.

Keeping Score

2007-04-26T14:12:00.000+08:00

Got to get my game back on. Sartre said that the fundamental project of humans is being. To be. I manage projects as a profession, and this post is pretty much a reflection on what I do and how I live.
Replace project with game. Whether or not Sartre agrees with me, that's how I'll substitute it. A game is simply a statement of an objective.

For example: The game of basketball is "putting the ball in the hole, instead of leaving it on the floor," everything else about it, are the rules (ball size, weight, composition, where the lines are, how high is the hoop, how many players, etc.).

So I play games, that's what I do and what I get paid for. The game can be called, "finish my work before the boss calls me on it"; though perhaps a more powerful way to frame it would be, "make a difference by doing [insert corporate mission here]".

What's important is, going back to our dear Jean Paul Sartre, the game involves putting things into existence, a creative act. The fundamental project to be, to have being, which he goes on to say - God.

Makes sense to me. Framed as "the game is to be god", that is a being that is whole and complete, in existence, with the capacity to cause existence of another (that is to create); the capacity to grant being.

Whether it's beating a deadline, finishing a proposal, forging a deal, these are acts that grant being to something. Things are in existence as a result of my action. When people say, that they do "God's work", they are speaking correctly. It is not contrary to the idea or concept of god to be able to grant being, to put things into existence, to complete projects, to play games.

I am neither theologizing or philosophizing; it is not my interest to influence the notion of truth. This is not the truth.

It's really just a reflection borne mostly out of a dissatisfaction towards my own productivity for the week before this one. I'd frame being as something beyond process. By process I mean works in progress. But there is always delay, results exist in time and over time.

What I can do is forget about the big games. (Not really forget, but perhaps shift them to the background) What I'll have before me are small games that resolve quickly, in matters of days or weeks. Instead of playing one big, long, and boring game (that has all the risks of incompletion), I'll play many games - all of which I will complete.

What is the purpose of games? Why do we play? Whenever I ask this question to training participants, I get responses like, "to win," "to beat the other guy."

What I get is that games are fun. Winning and losing occurs at the end of the game and can be sources of purpose too, but the activity in the game is fun. If you question this, just think about why you prefer some games over others, why someone would play a MMORPG over something like pong.

And what I get is that I have the most fun playing when I play full out. I played lots of games when I was a boy:

teks (trading cards with serialized movie scenes in comic book/storyboard format)

patintero
football base (an unholy marriage of baseball and futbol, super fun)
cops and robbers/black 1-2-3
variants of tag (habulang-upo, langit-lupa-impyerno, monkey-monkey - yes that one, with "a rickiticky-tee and a blue-black sheep")
trumpo (wooden tops spinning on iron nails)
cola-sponsored yo-yos (walking the mello-yello dog anyone?)
patuan (using pebbles, or shards of clay pots as marbles)
kalog (teks, only with bottle caps/crowns; with all sorts of things at stake: toy soldiers, cigarette wrappers, bottle cap collections)
jolens (marbles)
the one where you flatten a bottle cap/crown, and using yarn turn it into a twirling razor of death (the game is to cut the yarn of your opponent before he cuts yours in a razorcrown face off)
tumbang preso
chinese garter
Pepsi: 7-up! (Blueberry Hill on Takeshi's Castle)
saranggola (kites, though I was really only a boka-boka flier)
chato (fave! a game of sticks)
taguan (hide and seek)
barilan (gunplay)
piko (hopscotch)

I'm sure there were more. Conspicuously absent is sipa. I just never got the hang of it.

I look at this list and I see that most of these games are really simple, which is to say they are elegant. I mean, they are quick to learn - as there were no written rules or instructions, they traveled from generation-to-generation, or from neighborhood-to-neighborhood. Kids can assimilate and re-distribute them completely without organization or any formality.

And my god they were fun. I had so much fun playing. I was never dominant in any of them. But how did I manage to have so much fun playing?

I think it's just because I wasn't thinking at all. I was just playing full-out, with abandon, and left everything on the playing field (or streets, to be specific).

So the game is, to frame the things that I do, the projects on my plate, as games in themselves. In the pursuit of the outcome, the product is actually play.

That's the game.

Enveloped Ideas

2007-04-24T15:10:00.000+08:00

Warning: stream of consciousness writing coming at you! The first time I heard the song was actually on the live album (The Dawn: Live) in 1990 (the song came out in '86 I think). I was mostly ignorant of this band.

Well, I do remember them featuring in a San Miguel Beer advertisement, with their song "Salamat" which was how I related to them ("Oh they're the ones who did that Salamat song).

The version of ideas that I heard was this highly stylized arrangement featuring a choir, and a tenor who sang the track like some kind of dirge. It was catchy though. So I set forth to learn as much as I could about The Dawn, because like a real geek (i.e. Aida Hikoichi in Slam Dunk, or Inui Sadaharu in The Prince of Tennis) "I have to check."

I ended up finding their debut album review (also titled "Enveloped Ideas") from Jingle Magazine which my Tito Benjie collected back in the day. What I remember from the review was that the band was being admonished for writing complex (read: pretentious) songs, with the parting shot that sounded like "before the Beatles could make Sgt. Pepper's", they had to write their 'Love me do's first".

By that time I've listened to a lot of their songs over many albums. And even if I was going to make an unfair criticism of the review, I couldn't help but feel that The Dawn proved the review wrong. Most of their songs are complex and deep, and they were never going to be a light pop band.

I remember the last day of freshman year in high school and I was sitting right behind Ryan Cablitas who was a drummer and was very into the band. We were singing Salamat and I remember being overpowered with feeling that I was crying.

Over what?

I really don't know. I went through a whole lot that year, a real break in belonging with my friends from grade school, my brothers who were far too young and I was distancing myself from, and my parents who I really disappointed with my school performance and troublemaking.

But that day I must have felt so much affinity not only for Ryan Cablitas, but for everyone in that class (Paolo Lerma, Joel Pineda, Francis Ballares, Allan Gabor, Anton Hontiveros, Victor Tierro, Noel Siapno, Gregory So, Giovanni Dizon, Janice Legaspi, Allan Cayanan, Carlos Angeles, Carlos Averion) Section 12, St. Joseph Cupertino. Maybe I was reaching out and trying to convince myself that I belonged, and that I was losing something that day.

I wish I made a time capsule for the year 1990. Had I made one, this is what I think it'd contain:

Death Angel Act III
Tickets to my first dance in high school
Andrew E. Humanap ka ng pangit
OST Miss Saigon
Michael Jordan poster

Surprisingly, I can't think of anything else I owned then that I would put in the capsule. I was into basketball (I actually played almost every day), but not that into the NBA (well, compared to now).

What if, taking my cue to from the song, I wrote down my ideas in an envelope that would work like a time capsule? What would I have written?

"Rockers are cool."
"Triskelion is the best."
"Drummers get all the chicks."
"Dragonlance is the best literature ever written."
"Tight jeans rock."

I am underwhelmed. Is this all? I remember being such a precocious kid. I thought about everything. What could I really have thought about or have written?

Maybe I really was that short-sighted. I never thought about college at all, as I barely thought about the next year. The more I think about it, it was really quite a pedestrian existence. Sure I read more and was interested in a wide spectrum of subjects, but in terms of what I really thought about or wanted, it's really quite ordinary.

Not that there's anything wrong with that. I get some reassurance that for all the alienation and drama I associate with high school, I really was pretty normal (circa 1990).

I can hear the sea

2007-04-20T12:05:00.000+08:00

This is not a review. I've been listening to the original soundtrack of one of the most delicately moving films I've seen "I can hear the sea" more specifically "Umi ga kikoeru", an animated feature by Studio Ghibli.

I find it remarkable that I've found this work more endearing than the truly classic ones by Miyazaki Hayao, such as Nausicaa, and My Neighbor Totoro (His more recent works are "Princess Mononoke" and "Spirited Away"). Perhaps because it's not a fantasy movie, set in a high school in provincial Japan.

I'm really ambivalent about my high school experience. I went to high school at the Benedictine Abbey, officially known as San Beda Alabang these days. I had always felt the outsider - perhaps because I was too weird for the honor section set, and too nerdy for the cool cliques.

I was mostly a troublemaker too, who expressed his individuality by an obsession with Metallica and other rock bands. I remember being a freshman going through the "initiation" activities, which includes very mild hazing at the hands of the seniors (very mild because this is school sanctioned and sponsored, as opposed to the fraternity hazings that were punishable by expulsion). I can't believe that i actually went to school wearing a "Miss Saigon" T-shirt (I was a Lea Salonga fan), thinking that it was cool.

For those who don't see the sociology angle, what I did is so gay.

Not that I didn't have fun at all in high school, I'm sure I had lots and lots of fun. I made and lost so many friends, and I had one of those hopeless crushes on someone I never had a chance with (I think I survived on the support of sympathizers). Only that I remember it to be such a sad time. Not miserable, not deplorable, just sad.

I think a lot of the sadness or melancholy was due to a desperate need not only to merely belong, but to be dominant. I wanted to be great among my peers. I had thought that if I'd be cool by being notorious - and I had the gang who did the notorious things, and I would distinguish myself with my intellect. A cool nerd. (Of course I could/did not articulate it like this).

In my senior year I had more friends from the undergrads than from my own batch, perhaps thoroughly alienating myself by the airs I put on. I think I was living on a reputation of notoriety that the younger students aspired to have, and that my batch mates found juvenile.

In the end I ended up putting my money where my mouth was, and got involved in a fight three days before my graduation ceremony. One of my freshmen friends was being bullied by a junior, and I went inside the school after graduation practice, found the offender, and dragged him out behind the school where a host of other students who had axes to grind were waiting for him.

I was reported, caught and was punished by being excluded from the graduation rites. To this day I still feel guilty and awful - for disappointing my parents and grandparents (I was the eldest child and grandchild).

So young and so disappointed I felt, the only thing keeping me going then was that I got accepted to De La Salle University, where I felt I could start fresh and without a reputation. I ended up being classmates with four people from my high school (Hi Althea!) and my maturity would take almost another decade to make a breakthrough.

That summer I made new friends (in a new religion! I had dabbled in protestantism - initially because my impossible crush then invited me to join their Jesus camp for young people) and I had a great time hanging out by the lake in Caliraya, and by the beach in Calatagan where these rich-kid then friends of mine had property in. At the beach in Calatagan, Batangas, at night feeling especially sentimental now that high school was over; I looked at the dark sea where in the distance a few ships were slowly making their way. And I felt so sad.

I gave no great affinity with water. To this day I haven't learned to swim. And yet whenever I look at the sea I feel romance, and a great surge of sentiment. To smell a sea breeze! It'll take me back to that night in Calatagan where so many things were about to happen in my life that I really wouldn't know about, and yet my gaze so firmly fixed in a past that I don't think I'll ever understand.

For some reason, this soundtrack hits the spot. Its wordless melodies capture that dull yet intense sadness I feel for that part of my life. The film itself does this superbly, though very few of the events and characters reminded me of myself and my own story. Close enough though. Close enough.

The Five Minute Hallway

2007-03-28T14:29:00.001+08:00

I've made a quickie review of Mark Z. Danielewski's House of Leaves on my friendster profile some time ago, and recently I've been discovering people who've also read the book. It's awesome.

My friend HRH Princess Tanya reviewed it here, and she hasn't even finished the book yet (it's long and it's a doozy). What I find interesting is that a former officemate of mine and bona-fide cool dude, Mondo Castro frontman of the Pin-up Girls is quite the reader and has not only read the book but with the band made a track out of it too.

Here's their indie video of their song inspired by the Navidson Record (readers of HoL will get it, so read it na!): The 5-minute Hallway

Don't forget to pack your PC

2007-03-21T11:54:00.000+08:00

For the first time in a long time I didn't pack my laptop with me while going around.
Alecon and I visited my folks; shopped for books in Alabang and a dollhouse in (a surplus scrap/junk house in) Cubao. Then she had her hair done by Ate Adis at their house in Kamias, and by the time she was done, I had finished reading the Eraserheads tribute essay anthology I had just bought and it was time to pack up for Ninong Angie's birthay party.

The separation from my laptop is significant only in that I was supposed to turn in today the projected CAPEX for a portfolio of projects this year. I had incorrecty assumed that I'd have time to do it back home.

Well I ended up working on it in the van on the way to the party (I'm still here as I write this). I intend to sneak out to the van and finish/send the blasted thing shortly.

One thing I noticed that I did a pretty good job (based on how I felt doing it) under all that pressure in the van. I felt I would take more time and with no guarantee of the same quality under more forgiving conditions.

In any case, I won't make a habit of leaving my laptop home.

Did the Simulacrum die? Did it live in the first place?

2007-03-09T17:28:00.000+08:00

Back in university, I went into a philosophical phase (I majored in literature and minored in philosophy) that is best described as "postmodern". I don't even know how to define the term, but I distinctly remember studying and applying theoretical models/methods including but not limited to semiotics and deconstruction.

I write this now that I have learned of the death of one thinker associated with postmodernism (independent of his opinions of the matter) that truly entertained me back then. His name is Jean Baudrillard.

Interest in Mssr. Baudrillard peaked when his most noted work Simulacra et Simacrum featured in The Matrix. There was this scene where Neo sold some contraband to a group party-goers, and the contraband was stored in a hollowed-out copy of Simulacra et Simulacrum.

Here's a link to an old blogpost I made on the Matrix.

However, Bauldrillard didn't quite approve of how his thinking was interpreted in the movie. Here's a link to the article where he discussed it.

A major critic of the United States, especially concerning its cultural composition and contribution. Baudrillard made a lot of claims and comments on subjects such as Disneyland (which he asserted was the "real" America, and what lies outside its walls are mere phantasm), and the first Gulf War (which was produced like a Hollywood movie broadcast through CNN).

I was more than happy to find this video representing Bauldrillard's thinking through the Grand Theft Auto game. I wonder what he would say about Second Life.

The Fun in Economics

2007-03-05T10:38:00.000+08:00

My interest in the study of economics has risen quite a bit over the past year or so. Not that I would be interested enough to take it up academically, only that I feel that it is important to take up an active interest in it because whether or not I take up an active interest, I fully make an active participation.

For those like me who is still quite dumbfounded by economics, here's a video that takes great lengths to explain its principles. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

How it feels to DUNK!

2007-03-01T19:28:00.000+08:00

I'm 170cm tall and not at all athletic. But yes, I'm going to tell you how it feels to have dunked a basketball.

The gay former NBA player John Amaechi guested on John Stewart's The Daily Show. Funny thing is that even with ESPN marketing his book where he came out, it's the ridiculous unintentional comedy of the hate-speech uttered by former NBA All Star Tim Hardaway on a Miami radio show that's getting him all the attention. I have made some comment about it in a previous post.

Here's a video of the Daily Show episode:

I actually know how it feels to dunk.

One time I visited Museo Pambata which had a full-sized rim and backboard only that it was only a few feet high off the floor. I threw an alley-oop to myself! Easily one of the greatest days of my life.

For the life of me I thought I made a post of that day, but I realize now that I didn't. I was all alone on the "court," picked up a ball, then threw it from the free-throw line against the backboard.

I made two strides, then jumped...

I caught the ball with both hands and crammed it as hard as I could!

I hung on the rim a bit and as I was letting go in a moment that seemed to me frozen and all at once moving too fast. I got it:

I dunked the motherf*cking ball, and that's the game!

Suddenly swamped

2007-02-27T15:03:00.000+08:00

I've done my share of complaining about the lack of satisfying work opportunity back in my previous company. By lack of satisfying work I mean the lack of opportunity to participate in projects that make sense. I asked for work, and now I've GOT IT.

Holy crap, there are consequences to reporting to a young genius. I will probably end up referring to my boss as mssr. young genius because he is younger than I am. And right now, I can really see how much smarter he is.

No kidding, the stuff he comes up with is truly elegant and brilliant. I would be consumed with envy only that he has given me this opportunity to actually run away with these ideas. I have every wherewithal to "own" these ideas, directions, and projects and make good with them.

I will get ridiculous acceleration in my education in business and entrepreneurship. Why I've no time to be envious is that I'm having too much fun working.

But my goodness, what a lot of work it's proving to be. The past two weeks he's been out of the country which left me with some free time and also allowed me to concentrate on a particular project. Now that he's back I have to deal with the momentum and the corresponding workload of my current project and the tumult of a new and REALLY BIG one, as well as ancillary tasks and responsibilities for the holdings as a whole.

I'm so thankful and I fret a little that this blog sounds much too happy that it's annoying.

Reflections on some of Fortune's favors

2007-02-23T14:34:00.000+08:00

Last year I had the opportunity to (re)read and complete Colleen McCullough's "Masters of Rome" series of novels, set in the last decades of Republican Rome and the dawn of the empire. The third book in the series is titled "Fortune's Favourites" mostly about the culmination of the career of Lucius Cornelius Sulla, the Rise of Pompey Magnus, and the childhood of Gaius Julius Caesar. Also notable is an historically accurate (compared to the Hollywood version) account of the career of Spartacus.

The book's title is a reference to an often repeated theme in the series, and expresses the Roman belief that Fortuna, the Goddess of Luck, would take a hand in the lives of those who please her, helping them along when they most needed it.

Ever since I read that particular chapter (for the second time at least, since I've read it back in 1999)I thought of myself as one of Fortune's Favorites. I really think that I'm supremely lucky, and that I will eventually succeed in any endeavor of conflict not only because of personal merit or effort, but because of my Luck. Sulla had it, and Caesar certainly relied on it. Their ends are what they are, but certainly their lives and careers were of high achievement and romance.

I do think that there's a psychology to this, that this somewhat delusional faith in luck leads to the culmination of self-fulfilling prophecies. The trick is in ignoring the science.

Looking at my present circumstances, I feel absolutely vindicated. Right now I'm in an exciting and growing marriage, quite the mature relationship (if I may be indulged with comparing ours with those of acquaintances past and present); furthermore, I find myself in a career that I've dreamt up only less than a year ago. And less than a year ago, it didn't even seem feasible at all.

I was trapped in a near-sighted and tanking organization, and I found myself rather overspecialized in a field within a field (organization development as part of human resources). My career opportunities were limited to similar posts within the call center industry, who only added the value of income to my plans.

I had a friend tell my fortune around Christmas time, and he told me that I'd get out of the company by February 2007. And lo! Here I am doing the things I wanted to do, accelerating my timetable, standing before stupendous deals and projects, and planning the fortunes of multiple businesses.

My goodness this is so much better than consulting. I invented a career in training and management consulting back in 2002 out of nothing, meaning without a degree or any credentials whatsoever. Then I had dreams of being able to advise senior managers throughout Southeast Asia eventually.

Now I get to be the manager who has the runway to Southeast Asia. Not planned at all, certainly not as a 17-year old university freshman wanting to be the next and youngest master of the literary arts. I get to be the manager dude at the ripe old age of 30. (Not that special since my boss is a 28-year old freak of nature)

But even then, back in university I fancied myself as one who would distinguish themselves. I romanced myself in believing I belonged to a clique of (on-and-off) friends who were special and would do special things. Back then this belief consumed me and drove me, and actually stilted my growth and maturity.

I share this specifically because I still hold some of that belief now. I think that some or most of the people whom I thought of as special are indeed Fortune's Favorites.

Last year, the Year of the Dog was said to be a bad year for those born in the Year of the Dragon and for me it was indeed. Coming from a very promising start after a very good 2005, one setback after another happened ultimately resulting in my wanting out of the company. My other Dragon friends had major setbacks as well. It's said that this year (the Year of the Pig) will be very lucky for us Dragons and I can't agree more (my friends are bouncing back strong at the beginning of the year).

What's the ceiling for me this year? I don't even want to think about it. I have my wits and considerable resources, and most of all, I truly feel that I have my Luck. Watch out!

When someone HATES people have FUN

2007-02-22T16:36:00.000+08:00

Recently, former NBA All-Star Tim Hardaway, who used to play for the Miami Heat made hateful and homophobic comments against gay people. These comments were brought about the recent coming out of former NBA basketball player John Amaechi in his book "Man in the Middle" - some kind of memoir of his basketball career.

With the recent [insert hate group/factor/inclination here]-ist incidents involving celebrities like Mel Gibson (against Jews), Michael Richards (against niggers), and Tom Cruise (against psychologists), what's interesting is that the response against these individuals besides the obvious and inevitable public condemnation.

They've been roasted by the late-night comedy shows as well as the comedy-sketch shows (I'm sure the Simpsons, South park, and Family Guy had their jabs as well).

Here's a clip from the Jimmy Kimmel show featuring Zulu from Star Trek (George Takei who is a gay man) and his response to Tim Hardaway's hateful comments:

I wish we can make fun of celebrities and politicians here in the Philippines without getting killed.

My Humps (well, Alabang's actually)

2007-02-21T09:07:00.000+08:00

For 19 years, I’ve lived on number two Polillo Street, the corner of Luzon Drive; a few paces away from Madrigal Avenue – the main street of one of my most favorite places on Earth: Ayala Alabang Village.

Yes, Ayala Alabang is the premiere gated community South of Manila. It commands images of large houses in contemporary architecture, with large lawns and swimming pools. Within is the Alabang Country Club, still posh, especially to those who have lived there at least as long as I have. Then there are the schools, the most notable of which are Woodrose (exclusive girls’ school) and De La Salle Santiago Zobel. Schools for the rich kids, both of them.

I trumpet the poshness of the village, because I lived there as an anomaly: I actually am a scion of employees. White-collar, to be sure, but definitely of rank-and-file stock. My dad worked for Ayala companies: Makati Leasing, then for the Bank of the Philippine Islands. It was due to his employment in Ayala Corporation that he was able to purchase the house and lot with a long-term layaway plan.

The area where we lived (District 2, Phase I) used to be exclusively called “Housing”, because it was part of the housing program of Ayala for its employees. These days it is less apt because a lot of the residents are not Ayala employees, mostly due to the former owners selling and moving out of their homes. Still, whenever asked where I lived, I would say, Ayala Alabang.

Even though there was no distinction in terms of services and location (actually, living in our area is more advantageous due to its proximity to the exits and the commercial and business centers), there is a massive gap in terms of income and quality of living (ours wasn’t bad, theirs was just much better). When I first saw the houses with two-car garages, I was truly awed, being an inner-city urchin from Sampaloc, Manila whose only experience with automobiles consisted of jeepney, bus, and the rare taxi cab ride.

Some trivia: People who grew up in the village only refer to it as Alabang, while everybody else refers to it as “Ayala.” I guess there is some kind of innocent arrogance in their thinking there was no Alabang outside of the village. Residents who insist on referring to it including the “Ayala” in Alabang are somehow shown up as poseurish and noveau-riche (while most of them truly are such). I began to learn about this in high school, which was outside the village and where it was common to ask people where they lived.

What really distinguishes our area from the rest of the village (what some of us grew up calling “millionaires’ row”) is that the lot sizes are much smaller, the units were initially bungalows, with duplexes and even row-type houses with communal parking spaces. Also, the architecture was initially uniform, white concrete with red Spanish tegula tiles for roofing. Very rarely would there be a garage, unless the owner built one. No swimming pools, no basketball courts on the driveways, but there was something that a city boy like me found truly amazing: grass.

Houses had lawns with soft grass and manicured shrubs. In Manila we had trees and potted plants and even flowering shrubs and vines, but there wasn’t any grass. At most we found moss crawling over rocks and walls. I learned a lot of distinctions for grass (carabao, Texas blue, Bermuda, and the Talahib that covered the then-undeveloped areas in the village).

Alabang's sosy sari-sari store - Rustan's in Cuenca

Back to the distinctions: District 2 had (and still enjoys) a village cooperative (there’s one in each phase) that served as the town sari-sari store. If you lived deeper in the village, you would have to stock up on groceries and dry goods as well as own and drive a car (or employ an on-call chauffeur), because you would be far from everything. Even when Rustan’s opened a convenience store in the Cuenca community center area, it was still far from your house. I don’t care where you say you live. It’s far.

District 2 had a truly awesome convenience: tricycles. It was the quickest way out of the village. Especially in District 2, where a lot of people did not have cars. We didn’t have one until 1993, so the tricycle was (and still is) our primary mode of transportation. These tricycles had limited range and routes. They only reached as far as the corner of Luzon Drive and Madrigal Avenue, just a block away from our house. To travel deeper in the village, there were jeepneys. Chances are, however, wherever you did end up getting off will still be very far from where you needed to go. The village was (and still is) pretty big.

What I’m really trying to share is, even though I certainly wasn’t among the royalty of Alabang, I truly loved living there. Sure, more than a few times, I was guilty of leveraging my village address for the purposes of social mobility. But I really believe that by not being one of the truly privileged of the villagers, I felt, ironically, truly privileged to be living there.

I bet you don't have humps like these! uhhh!

Now I can go on and on about the many different things I love and find great about the village, but let me just share this: One thing very few people notice is how good our humps are. They are truly awesome. “Humps?” you say. Even when I was a kid I thought they were well planned, well made, and well-maintained. Now that I actually drive, I love them all the more.

Humps or speed bumps are placed on the streets to slow down fast moving vehicles to avoid accidents. The idea is that the bump on the road, if approached too fast, can cause damage to vehicles. Therefore, it encourages the drivers to slow down. Think of it as a failsafe against morons who won’t slow down for anything (visual signals) else but a real threat to their own vehicles. However, the quality of the hump is found in how smoothly it allows vehicles to go over it, while at the same time slowing them down.

In many villages or gated communities of comparable quality to Ayala Alabang, the dimensions of the hump are (approximations only) one meter wide (in cross section), the breadth of the street long, and about six inches high. Also, these humps are zebra-painted in yellow and black for optimal visibility, along with the matching street sign (inverted triangle warning). This is not bad, but this is not excellent - in my opinion. In most subdivisions, even in some areas of BF, the humps are atrocious. The dimensions are: about a foot wide, and six inches or so high. This means that no matter how slow you drive, it’s going to be painful. What’s worse, they are seldom painted. There used to be these humps along Concha Cruz in BF that we called “ninja” or “stealth” humps. You never see them coming.

Easy on the eyes, easy on your ride.

The humps in Alabang are seriously of superlative quality. Consider the dimensions: at least 2 meters wide, the breadth of the street long, and about six inches high. It’s the cross-sectional width that makes all the difference. The width provides a steady grade that minimizes the jarring effect of traversing the peak of the hump. So even if you pass through a heavily humped area like University Avenue in front of Zobel (De La Salle Zobel school), it’s easy on you and your vehicle.

There is one exception though. This particular hump on Madrigal Avenue right before the turn to Luzon Drive probably gives the most violent driving experiences in the village. Perhaps because it’s the busiest corner/intersection in the entire village, the paint job never lasts. So at night, many drivers don’t see it until it’s too late to sufficiently slow down. And since it’s a particularly big hump, perhaps due to the breadth of Madrigal Avenue, it seems quite high, compared to the other humps in the village.

During the Ramos administration (early 1990’s) when power outages happened every night I would walk to the then-vacant lot at the corner of Luzon and Madrigal and watch all the lowered cars fly off that hump with much screeching and sparks. I swear I could almost hear the drivers’ expletives from across the wide road.

That particular hump aside, I’m almost certain any driver can appreciate the quality of the humps of Alabang. No one really talks about them, but I really think it’s part of what distinguishes our village from all the others (Ayala Heights in QC is near-identical with Alabang though).

I recently moved to Pasig after I got married in December of 2006. There are many conveniences living here in the East over the South, mostly due to how centrally located we are in relation to anywhere in the metro. No prohibitive toll fees as well. Inasmuch as I love the new home and the life that I’m building with my bride here in Pasig, Alabang will remain my most favorite places on Earth. I miss it already!

I drove around Alabang (for the first time) the day before I started writing this, and I was arrested by emotions that I won’t pretend to understand. I really think that there’s something about having lived in the South. And I can’t thank my stars enough that I had the privilege of calling Alabang my home, even for a short while.

Economics in Poetry

2007-02-20T17:05:00.000+08:00

I was never good at economics (I'm a literature major, go figure). Back in university I remember going through the hell that was INTRECO (Introduction to Micro Economics) under Mr. (was it Victor?) Pontines, who was I'm sure very good at the subject, but was absolutely terrible at teaching microeconomics. He had an obvious preference for Aggregate Economics and decided to throw the syllabus away by midterms and teach the second course anyway.

A LOT of us failed that class, even when he lowered the passing grade to 30%(!). Needless to say, even though I thought thee subject itself may be relevant, it would never be cool in my eyes.

Fast forward a decade later. I married Alecon who although being an attorney, has a degree in economics for her undergrad. I'm building a career as a professional manager and find myself in the ocean of economic concerns.

I had read books by Malcolm Gladwell as well as Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner and found myself thinking... this stuff rocks!

I have made breakthroughs professionally and socially by applying some of the principles in Gladwell's work, and today I find this video that more than anything, brings a great deal of what I pursued then and now together.

Poetry about economics? It roxx0rz!

Smart Service

2007-02-13T15:47:00.001+08:00

I used to work for PLDT, or part of that corporate group anyway. The portforlio included Smart Communications, and so for a few years now I've been a subscriber. I've been okay with them for the most part, but it's infinitely frustrating that the breakdowns start happening when I try to spend more money for more services.

2 weeks ago I applied for a plan (Smart Gold 2500). The face-to-face service was quite good (a guy named Mon, that for the life of me I can't contact now). However, to date I've had ZERO FEEDBACK ABOUT MY APPLICATION. 2 whole weeks while the service proposal was 5-7 working days.

The trouble is, every time I try calling their customer care, nothing is on record. Nobody tells anyone what's going on with my account, so every time I call them it's a new re-telling all over again. I'm so pissed!

I know that the customer care, or at least part of it, is outsourced to the subsidiary company I resigned from, so no surprises about the wretched service.

J. R. R. Tolkien: There and Back Again

2007-02-10T17:38:00.001+08:00

Last night Alecon and I started watching The Lord of The Rings again. This is interesting for me because we went out on our first date during the premiere of The Return of the King. I thought it would be good that we watch the whole thing together (on DVD).
I love it that they released the extended version. They were able to put in so much detail that wouldn't work in the theatrical release. Full disclosure: I used to be such a Tolkien nut way back in university. I wrote my thesis: "Where in the world is Middle-Earth? A Post-Colonial Reading of J. R. R. Tolkien's The Silmarillion." (Ana Garamendi, I know you still have my personal copy. If you happen to read this, please contact me). There wasn't a lot of us then back in 1997. My main beef with the movies is that in the effort to be Politically Correct, they made Arwen's character do all sorts of things at the expense of real characters they under-developed, or even scrapped altogether. Glorindel II, where art thou? Otherwise, I really loved the cinematic adaptation. Now I've started reading "The Hobbit" again, and I can't believe how I managed to forget how good Tolkien is. I've enjoyed J. K. Rowling, Eoin Colfer, and Jonathan Stroud in recent years and I really like them. But to think that I compared them to old Professor Tolkien is suddenly ludicrous to me. I foresee myself totally geeking out over the next couple of months about Middle Earth. Now I just can't wait to get home and start reading the books and watching the flicks again.

Wireless

2007-02-10T13:28:00.001+08:00

I really love this whole wireless technology thing. WiFi accessibility allows me to blog from just about anywhere. Right now I'm here waiting for Alecon while she's off shopping in Greenhills. We're to watch the movie we were supposed to watch while we were on honeymoon back in Hong Kong: The Curse of the Golden Flower.

For someone who likes Gong Li a lot, I haven't seen a lot of her movies. Though I think the ostentatiousness of this movie will take away from the strength of her performance, I'll enjoy it nonetheless.

To think I can post on my blog from the theater lobby, I'm so amped about it!

If only I was able to do this back in 2004 when I was going all over the country. That would have been magnificent. Well, I must travel more then.

In the mean time I gotta catch the trailers. I love watching trailers in the theater.

Fitness First

2007-02-09T19:07:00.001+08:00

I joined Fitness First in December 2004, and in the time since then I have gained a net of 11 kilos. That's a lot of weight for someone who invested money in a gym membership. No, I'm not holding Fitness First responsible.

I spent a month working out at Gold's Gym last year too. Humor aside, it's my lack of commitment to working out as well as a lack of discipline in eating (fatty food, salty food, sweets, and junk food) that led to all this weight gain.

The truth is, I work out like a fiend in the gym. On cardio I don't stop until I've clocked at least 300 k/cal on the machines, I do at least 150 reps of crunches in various forms per workout. Fitness First has been a great place for me to just kick it and grind out a workout. I originally registered at the Alabang Westgate branch. Since I worked in Makati the past 2 years I've spent the most time at the Ayala (JG Summit Tower) branch, and now that I live in Pasig and hold office in Cubao, QC, I'll be going to the Libis branch.

In fact I just got out of Libis from a workout and am blogging from a taxicab on the way home. One thing I won't be able to do when I start bringing a car - unless traffic is at a near standstill.

Despite working real hard when I do work out, it's the habits I have outside the gym that really do me in. Too much carbs, too much eating after dinner, exceessive junk food snacking, and the killer: blowing off gym appointments and then dining out with friends. Of course I don't regret meeting up with friends. Last year was a real coup for me in terms of building and re-building relationships. I simply wasn't responsible with making up the missed gym appointments.

Well, I've worked out with success outside of the gym (it was only until 2 years ago that I've been truly able to afford it), so why don't I work out in other ways when I can't make it to the gym? Well, since I've experienced the conveniences Fitness First offers, it's hard to get back to the habit of running/hiking around the suburbs. Maybe it's all psychological. The fact is now I only work out in the gym.

Now I've again resolved to crank out at least 4 workouts a week this February and March, all cardio. I'll start doing high-rep sets on the machines starting April, provided that I've shed most of my retained water and some of my bodyfat. I don't know how it'll all fit in my schedule, but I'm resolved to build my schedule around my workouts and not the other way around. I had just turned 30, so there is a sense of urgency.

Test

2007-02-09T12:51:00.001+08:00

Let's see if this works.

I'm posting on blogspot via email and I'm attempting to cross-posting to my multiply account.

If this works this will save me a lot of trouble and grant me a measure of peace of mind. I've been blogging a lot on Multiply, and although it's a public profile, I want to keep my blogspot blog due to the flexibility and the communities outside of Multiply I belong and could join.

Distinction and Differentiation

2007-01-16T15:05:00.000+08:00

Oftentimes you'll hear business executives exhort their employees to work towards creating differentiation for the organization in the market. They direct people to find ways to "separate the company from the rest." This is well and good. I think some customers are inclined more to pick a product or service that is distinct in one way than choose based on a generic table of standards.

The more commodified a product or service is, the providers must find ways to distinguish themselves or else price will become the primary decision point - which almost always works against profit.

What I find funny in these efforts to differentiate, if they can be called efforts, is that oftentimes there is no systematic assessment of the competition. In one case there's this company who declared their strategy of differentiation is to invest in their employees through training. The message was well-recieved by the employee audience, but the strategy utterly fails to take into account that the market leaders invest thousands of percent more on wholesale training for their employees compared to them.

As such, in this case, the company has already differentiated itself by not investing in training at all.

While I have nothing against investing in training (I am also a trainer by profession), this as a strategy for differentiation in this case is absurd. At best the company will (barely) keep up with the Joneses, wasting money on "quick and dirty" training interventions just to be able to demonstrate a commitment to training and development, or, more specifically, malasakit (Tagalog for care) for their employees.

Hollow and foolish. There is a host of other places to start with if the goal is to demonstrate malasakit for the employees. If training was indeed so important, can the company establish a direct correlation between job satisfaction of employees and high investment in training among the market leaders.

And even if there were, investing in training is still the inappropriate strategy towards the goal of differentiation. Haphazard strategic management like this leads to differentiation by happenstance. Enjoy the examples found here.

30

2007-01-15T14:11:00.000+08:00

I'll be turning 30 this weekend, and for the first time after the longest time, I'm having a party! I'll host it at home, and in the whole scheme of things it will be a modest affair. However, for someone like me who hasn't had any kind of celebration beyond a dinner out with friends and colleagues, this is the biggest thing.

It's going to be a dinner prepared by the three-headed culinary monster that is Guisano, Lagusay, & Tan (sounds like some kind of firm). Seriously they are:

Our "Ninang" who is the master chef at home, notable for her very rich dishes. Whatever she cooks, you can be assured that it's VERY RICH.

Toto Lagusay, former roasting chef for Super Bowl of China. He's the husband of Alecon's foster sister Alou. It's good that we got hold of him before he leaves for a gig in Dubai.

Karl Marxist S. Tan, our good friend who will be in charge of the dessert fondue.

I've invited many friends old and new. Some of these friends weren't able to attend my wedding, so this is a good time to meet and reconnect. Special shout-out to P'chy and Bebang who are my co-interns in J. Walter Thompson way back 10 years ago. Let's get together and enjoy new good times.

Baon (home-prepared, packed lunches)

2007-01-12T11:43:00.000+08:00

I had a love-hate relationship with baon (ba-on), the Tagalog word for a packed lunch. It could generally mean any resource (including cash) you bring with you to a trip, for school or work; but it most often connotes packing a meal prepared from home.

Back in pre-school and grade school, I loved bringing baon. This almost always involved a colorful lunchbox printed with the licensed trademarks of the day. I think I had a Transformers lunchbox at some point. The fare involved a sandwich and instant orange juice in some kind of thermos.

Us kids got excited about comparing the contents in our lunch boxes and on very rare occasions would even share or trade with one another. When I turned 8 or so I started noticing interesting things sold in the school cafeteria. This was the beginning of the end for my love affair with my lunch box. I had begun to want and ask for money. And when it came to money, I would never feel that I had enough.

It got worse in high school. I had moved from Sampaloc, Manila where we were relatively better off than most of our neighbors and reasonably at par with my school mates to Ayala Alabang Village which was (and still is) one of the poshest gated communities in the Philippines.

I had moved to Benedictine Abbey School (San Beda Alabang) where most of the students come from gated communities. I was probably one of the worst off (relatively) among the students there but due to my residential address, everyone would assume otherwise. And oh what would I give to maintain that illusion!

I remember with dread shopping for lunch boxes, my mom wanting to get me the most presentable, the most presentable ones; sort of making up for not being able to raise my allowance (to my preference).

The tuition for my education was no joke and needed my parents to do some serious scrimping (something that I was completely insensitive to). All I could think about was how I wouldn't be able to eat at the cafeteria with everyone else and eat the (quite horrible for the prices) school food. I remember my mother pleading with me to reconsider (in tears!) my unreasonable demand to increase my allowance. I had my way (and I still feel guilty whenever I think about this).

By the time I got to university (an even more expensive education in De La Salle), I didn't even get any protest from my mother about not wanting to bring baon. Baon was cash as far as I was concerned. During the rare times I would eat out with schoolmates, I always ended up ordering the cheapest item on the menu. Even then I would end up scrimping on food for the rest of the week.

For me then, baon communicated the lack of cash, and was an immediate status marker. I was no socialite, but in my mind my friends actually gave a shit about whether I packed food or not. Secretly I would admire people who didn't care and ate food packed from home, but I would always be too chicken to be one of them.

When I started working, it was still the same. Never mind I was an entry level drone, I would rather eat meals on credit than pack free(!) food care of Mama. This went on for years and years.

It was only when I entered this organization (I was turning 28) and was assured of my status as a manager, that my values and opinions began to change. I would eat at the office cafeteria with other managers like myself (and younger, too) and they brought baon prepared from home. Given their confidence, they actually called it straight: cafeteria food is markedly inferior to food they prepared themselves, or by someone who cared for them.

My wife (back then my girlfriend) made more money than I do and yet always brought baon prepared from home. I wanted so much to do this myself, but at that point I was already supporting my parents and the food didn't seem so "free" anymore as I would have to set aside more money than I already give her every month just for my baon.

The logic that I would be spending more is fallacious since I always spend more when I eat out. As a result, I would end up bringing baon only some of the time.

Now that I'm married I bring baon every day, care of my wife's Ninang (aunt) who lives with us and who is a very good cook. I save so much money and feel so good about my good fortune to be able to eat good food and practice sound economic policy.

These days I've heard ridiculous stories about kids enjoying cash allowances around Php 500.00, which %30+ more than the daily minimum wage. These kids end up acquiring bad habits with money, end up having no economic sensibility, and start gambling very very early.
I've no kids yet, but I imagine that I will face challenges concerning the value of baon with them someday.

What's your baon for today?

Going Pro

2007-01-11T12:53:00.000+08:00

How I understand professional behavior involves "doing your duty in the face of constraints;" by constraints I mean discomfort with working conditions, disagreement with colleagues and/or management.

How I'm being made to understand this is "doing what you're told, despite how you feel about it, or what you're opinion about the instructions are."

The quandary perhaps is, what if my resistance to the instructions is grounded firmly on professional opinion and analysis (mine)? To persist in my resistance is still "unprofessional?"

Ultimately, I have a boss, who has her own boss, who has a boss, who has his own boss. What is valued here is our professional ability to execute instructions/directions, and not manifest professional opinions.

Imagine yourself being instructed to do a project with a ridiculous deadline, negligible resources, based on fanciful assumptions, and even more fantastic deliverables. It's a doomed enterprise and the results will be entirely your own accountability.

I have a negative opinion regarding the professionalism of the manager who sets up anyone that way.

Back to Barracks

2007-01-09T12:30:00.000+08:00

I've taken a hiatus from blogging (as well as from almost everything productive) to get married and go on honeymoon. I had saved all my vacation leaves in 2006 to enjoy my December, and I did thoroughly enjoy my vacation. One of the things I dreaded was my returning to work.

A series of organizational changes (still ongoing) makes me feel that my work is futile. There, I've said it. Nathaniel Branden related self-esteem to productivity in his book, The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem. Simply put, the more productive you are, the more self-esteem you have.

The problem is not that I'm not getting to produce work. It's that the work I produce does not make any difference. I won't justify this statement here. It is my intent to make a difference with my work, even when I feel that I'm not learning anymore. A big part of why I work for a corporation is to learn the business of managing a corporation. I'm not learning anymore.

Back in graduate school I got very fond of The Myth of Sisyphus as discussed by Albert Camus. Sisyphus in Greek Mythology is a figure who was punished by the gods by being made to roll a boulder up a hill, which upon reaching the top rolls back down. The punishment really is that Sisyphus has to do this every day for eternity. This is how my work feels like.

Not to say I'm miserable. I'm very happy in general - I just need to find a company that's a superior fit. Besides, how can I fail to be happy with a wedding photo like this:

And that's the game folks, Happy 2007!

Post-Colonial Language Hang-ups Six Years into the New Millenium

2006-12-01T05:48:00.000+08:00

I have a confession:

I still can't help but gawk at a foreigner (especially when white) speaks Tagalog.

I'm blogging at the Starbucks in front of the Asian Institute of Management here in Greenbelt when a tall white guy comes in, walks up to the barista and says,"Isang capuccino na may dalawang shot ng espresso po."

The surprised barista uttered a confused response in English. And I witnessed everything unfold as if in slow motion. The poor guy can't help it. He was compelled to speak in English to this tall white person.

I think the barista spoke better English than he would have done conversing with lets say, me.

We Filipinos usually feel embarrassed whenever one of us speaks in accented and/or broken English - especially when addressing foreigners (regardless if the foreigner actually is English or American).

When we meet a foreigner who actually tries to speak in Filipino we feel that we've been given a treat. I know I still do.

(Note: I'm typing sitting on a stool sandwiched between two white folks by the shop front facing Paseo de Roxas)

"Anong pangalan po ang ilalagay ko sa baso?" The barista finally manages to ask in Tagalog.

"Mike" The tall white guy said.

And that's the game.

The world shrinks yet again

2006-11-27T11:26:00.000+08:00

In preparation for our wedding, Alecon and I have been calling on our Principal Sponsors - for them to get to know us, as we become their Godchildren, and for us to know them - as they are for the most part constructs in our imagination anchored by the knowledge that they are significant friends and relations of our parents.

Last Sunday afternoon we called on the Matics, MrApolonio and Crisanta who are good friends of my mother in law (MIL). On the way to their home my MIL shared that the Matics spent time in Djakarta, Indonesia. When we went through their doorstep I had noticed two wooden chairs that my best friend Tristan had in his room. I had also remembered a conversation between him and Ming (another good friend) wherein they mentioned that all of their friends (Filipino families who had lived in Djakarta) had those chairs.

We had a brisk and lively conversation with the Matics, and after a time their daughter Joyce joined us. She looked over the wedding invitation and remarked "Tristan Jovellana?" To which I responded, yes he's my best friend and our best man.

I should have figured it out earlier, these people would all know each other from their stay in Djakarta where the Filipino community was quite close-knit. Sure enough, Joyce knew Ming and the Matics were good friends with the Ovendens.

Since I had gone to La Salle, I also knew of Chad - another of their common friends. Joyce even knew of Francis Miranda, due to her going to UA&P where Francis teaches; and Mr. Matic knew him or of him due to Jimenez Basic (the ad firm where Francis works) serves United Laboratories, Inc. where Mr. Matic is an executive.

Well, at least now they know that Ming is featured in this Month's Metro Magazine ("Iron Ladies with a Soft Touch") out now.

And more and more I feel that my world and Alecon's world is coming together - just in time for the wedding.

Foul!

2006-11-22T23:31:00.000+08:00

Over the past two years, I've received feedback that I was too soft. Too soft, in the sense that or in relation to treating people that I disagree with. Knowing myself, even if it were true that I have played my cards too kindly with some people that I could have been harsher with, or have spoken straighter with, it wouldn't be coming from some esoteric principle to be congenial.

I know that I operate in an environment where there is a lot of superficial congeniality, but I don't necessarily subscribe to the thinking that I should practice diplomacy for its own sake. I have withheld treatment that a subordinate or peer may have deserved (at least apparently) not because I wished to be kind, but because I intuited that the conclusions (that would justify the harshness) were too hasty.

Years later I now know that I was right about most things. I'm very happy that I withheld from telling people off.

These days, however, I feel thoroughly provoked to take the kid gloves off and just serve people their own asses back to them. Why? Because I am certain that I have an enemy. By enemy I mean someone who actively and purposefully acted against me and my interests unnecessarily, unfairly, and maliciously.

I'm not sure if it was Drucker or Deming who said that "In a growth industry, anybody can be a good manager." Whoever said it, the statement is golden. I'm working with people (senior managers even) who can't manage their way out of their own hair, and yet act with such arrogance - as if their positions in the organization were owed to them (my enemy specifically). All because we belong in the high-growth (for how long I don't know) call-center and BPO industry where revenue is so high that investments in the hundreds of millions (in Php) can achieve ROI in 4 years (even with the shittiest of contracts).

In meetings I act with tact (though the cretins in the company may disagree, since they perceive my questions and participation in meetings as insolence and not work); I say this because I don't want to show up the amateurs in the group - people who don't and won't have an idea of what I'm talking about. Now, I have no incentive to protect the charlatans. They are not interested in cooperating or valuing my contribution, so there is no compelling reason for me to relax my expectations of people occupying these management seats.

If I talk about things that are beyond their competence, then I won't apologize for their own inadequacy. The organization has rewarded not only incompetence, but also counterproductive behavior. I won't stand for it.

Executive Behavior

2006-11-20T12:39:00.000+08:00

I'm doing my best not to write about organizational politics, as I will inevitably write about my own organization and probably get slapped with a libel case or three.

I figured that it would be lovely to post an anonymous blog ala Mini Microsoft, but since mine isn't a multinational, despite the number of employees - It'd be too easy to trace the posts to me - as I know so very few people blog or think about the kind of issues I want to talk about.

Maybe when I've left, or when a miracle in executive and cultural maturity of such unprecedented transparency occurs such that I could post my entries in the interests of management education.

Well, hope is, well, hope.

Recently I've been exposed to different accounts of executive behavior in a variety of corporations, and I am so apalled at the hubris shamelessly displayed (In a TV interview she would only talk about her personal accomplishment in building the company at the expense of talking about the product which was in the best interests of her many franchisers, as well as completely forget about the many platitudes she mentioned there when asked about them afterwards). I began to worry that this was a Filipino thing, but then again there are many books that narrate the rise and fall of arrogant executives.

I would be so interested in gathering accounts of executive behavior (not only bad behavior - there's Dilbert for that, but exemplary ones as well). Feel free to post your comments.

Misadventures in Job Interviews

2006-11-10T17:29:00.000+08:00

Considering my 12 year plan and the income requirements to give it legs, I have been working the job market (I am willing to continue in my present organization provided that it meets my price; nothing against it - I'm just committed to my plan).

I have recently been contacted for an interview for a Training executive position in one of the older outsourcing firms here in the Philippines. And what happened was completely and utterly disappointing.

First, the night before the interview one of their human resources people called me to book me for the interview with their human resources director. The interview was to happen at 10 late in the evening. I had reservations about such a late appointment, but hey, I want to see what they're about anyway.

In the afternoon of the day of the interview, a different human resources person (I assume that she was from human resources) called me about the interview. I informed her that I was called the night before about it. Strangely enough, she was unfamiliar with the prior call. In any case, it was very clear to me that the interview was set.

I arrived ten minutes before 10, as is my way about these things. I entered their lobby where there were two ladies behind a receptionists' desk, and a lady security guard by the door.

Interestingly enough, the receptionists did not receive me. It was the security guard who asked me about my business in their office. I declared my appointment, and as I was about to help myself towards the common lobby (where there was a large television showing a replay of the Bulls vs. Bucks NBA game), I overheard one of the receptionists admonish the guard that she was lax in one of their protocols: I had to surrender an ID and wear a visitor's pass.

Okay, at this point I was thinking this company valued intense security as opposed to guest relations (or executive recruitment, for that matter). I sat down in front of the television and waited.

And waited.

At about twenty minutes past 10:00pm the lady security guard approached me to inform that my interviewer was in a meeting. This did not sit well with me. Then she handed me a generic applicant's information form that she instructed me to fill out.

Where was anyone from HR? What were the two receptionists busy with?

Now this was the kind of form that asked you to declare most if not all of your personal information, including your tax ID and social security. It required you to mention your immediate relatives by name, age, and occupation beyond information already in the resume in their posession.

Thinking that they did have my resume and that I brought another copy. I only filled certain parts of the form (the indignity was getting to me already). About five minutes later the security guard got back to me and retrieved the form.

After a few minutes, she got back to me and instructed me to fill out the form utterly and completely. My goodness, I was already thinking that they clearly did not know how to handle executive recruitment.

I completed the damned form. The guard got back to me and thanked me for the completed form, and told me that my interviewer (the HR director) "just stepped out", but, "she already knows that you're here."

My good lord, this is the worst. I waited some more until I noticed that I was getting a bit sleepy. The game was already on halftime, and when I looked at my watch it was already ten minutes before 11:00pm.

That was it. I had waited an hour of a very long day out in the city at a very inconvenient time. They did not give me even the least of courtesies: a host from human resources, coffee, or a by when for my interview to eventually begin.

I left them. I vented some misplaced disgust on the poor lady security guard, asking her if this was how they treated their applicants.

I wouldn't want to work for an organization like that. There is an axiom in customer service: Treat your employees as you would want them to treat your customers. That organization, which is specifically in customer service, has no business being an outsourcer of such.

Inside the Outsourcing Industry:Job Hunting

2006-11-05T21:57:00.000+08:00

A longtime friend who has not kept in touch with me for many years (four? five?) sent me a text message yesterday. I was able to speak with him, and found out the unfortunate news that not only has he not kept a job, he has begun to lose hearing in one ear. I can write an entire post on how terrible this is - given how much this friend of mine loves music, and is in fact a major influence on my own musical tastes (he introduced me to Steely Dan, my favorite band); but I am going to write something related to the job market situation in the Philippine outsourcing industry.

If not for the hearing loss, my friend would be very employable. He is intelligent and technologically competent. More importantly, he is highly conversant in English and this is the most important competence at present in the Call Center job market. In the outsourcing industry, voice-based services enjoy the highest premiums - so going the call center agent route is ideal for a worker looking for the easiest entry and at the same time best paying (entry-level) job.

Fortunately, the customer services in the industry are varied, and don't always rely on phonecalls. Some examples of this are email support and instant messaging/chat support. It is in these services that my friend was asking about. My company has both.

The thing is, the organization supplies its personnel needs for these services from the pool of its active customer service representatives, particularly those who underperformed in the voice aspect of their function. The profile of these people is that they are adequate in product knowledge and process competency, but do not speak clear enough English (accent and/or pronunciation issues).

Given that non-voice, and especially email services are less in the realm of real-time as compared to inbound voice, the weaknesses of the employees profiled above are less relevant. They enjoy an advantage of ready familiarity and competence in the accounts' products and processes over new hires. Furthermore, the organization prevents unnecessary turnover and increases overall productivity in the face of potential waste.

Although there are and will be organizations who'd rather hire new employees for such services, it makes less sense for them to do so based on the aforementioned considerations. This is why I am not optimistic about my friends' chances (at least in my company).

I am not without my network of headhunters and industry insiders, so I'll leverage it to assist my good friend.

My 12-year plan (beta)

2006-10-28T08:10:00.000+08:00

I went on TV last Monday, sharing about the Landmark Forum. Too bad I don't have any video recorded. I would have loved to post it here. There are so many things going on that I want to blog about, only that it involves so many people - and a lot of what I now know have been shared with me in confidence.

I have a 12-year plan that officially starts on January next year. I'll be 30, which means my plan takes me all through 2019, when I'm 42 years old.

Some background details: I work as a manager in a corporation, and I'm getting married in December to a corporate (and military) lawyer. We will have a dual-income household that is higher than most Filipinos, though very far from being considered wealthy.

The goal of the plan is to achieve financial freedom. My ambition is to become wealthy. For that to happen, I need to be able to generate income from assets and reduce my expenses from taxes. I intend to be an owner of businesses, as well as an astute investor.

I intend to remain an employee for the next five years, getting paid to learn the workings of a corporation. With an income goal of Php X/month by next year, even if I only get incremental increases over the next 5 years, I will have had saved Php Y by 2012 (only computing for base salary and monthly cash allowances, but excluding 13th month pay and variable cash incentives/bonuses, and any severance/retirement package income; and not counting compound interest applied to savings until such time).

In 2012, I will set aside a budget from my savings to cover all household expenses for the year, as well as a budget for my daily overhead. This is important because I do not intend to jump into entrepreneurship right away. I intend to find an entrepreneur and make that person an offer he or she can't refuse.

I will find an entrepreneur, preferrably running a business 3-5 years in operation, and apprentice with that person. I'm going to ask that person to hire me as her apprentice. I'll make her coffee, answer her calls, call on her clients, close deals, run her HR department, and whatever it takes to run her enterprise. She'll get 15 years (by then) of work experience from me, 7 of which would be management experience and OD expertise.

In return, I get hands-on education on entrepreneurship, during the make-or-break years of an enterprise. I intend to learn how she manages her finances, accounting practices, small-business employee relations, investor relations, family/professional relations, sales and marketing on shoestring budgets, and anything else I may discover on entrepreneurship.

After a year, I'll have to be clear on the enterprise I want to venture in. My network must be large enough and of high enough quality for me to start up my own shop. As early as now I have some options and considerations, but I haven't identified the industry/product/service I really want to get into.

I'll be a 37-year old entrepreneur. And I intend to drive my business past the 5th year milestone. I've read that most or almost all startups fold within 5 years. Getting my business past that is my goal. After which I will have done most entrepreneurs fail to do.

My next move is to hire a professional manager to run things and for me to relinquish control of the business. Why? This is because I want to own more businesses, making different things. I want to have excellent people managing them, making me lots of money. I also want to shift my attention to managing the income that the business have been making, making sure that the money is being as productive as it could be (in investments on financial instruments, etc. as well as re-investment in the core business).

This will take me out of the day-to-day operations, giving me more time to enjoy the fruits of 12 years work. I will have been 42, enjoying my time with my future children, and perhaps afforded some of the privileges of wealth.

SCAM! Beware!

2006-10-06T18:57:00.000+08:00

I'm a lucky man. Through free-association web surfing I get to learn many many things (some related to my business or profession, some just general information), now aided by the amazing Stumbleupon service.

I had gotten a message from another member of SU claiming to be Laarni Enriquez, the alleged mistress of former president Joseph Estrada. Here is the message in full:

2:31am Hello Dear
it is my pleasure to contact you through mail after going through your profile. I am laarni Enriquez a phillippino by nationality.I need someone, who would take me for whom I am and as a life time business partner, after making claims of my deposited life fortuned in Abroad. Well, from your profile, I believe in me that you ought to be a very honest person.
I would like to give you a brief description of my life autobiography.
I was once the mistress of our President, Joseph Estrada,and during his tenure in office, I was often used as a courier in depositing his(the president) funds, in the Europe, and Africa because of my honesty with him.but his wife Madam Loi and her son-Jude, accused me of having secret affair with the president
this led to fabrication of all kind of allegation against just to disrepute my honestly earned fame But, not quite long, I was arrested, together with his wife and son, in connection with the 27th July, 2003, failed coup for working in the household of the ex-president Joseph Estrada .Although i was later granted bailed as there was no substantial evidence against me , now I have
been released but under security watch within state confinement with limited opportunity to reach the outside world to prove my innocence.
Now my main purpose of sending you this mail confidentaily is to ask for your assistance in claiming of some funds, I did deposited in metallic truck box in security company in Coted Ivories-a remote states in Africa. Every other deposit including my properties and bank account have been confiscated and seized by the the government of Madam Gloria the President of republic of
Philippine .But, this one is the only one they could not see, as I did
kept the deposit certificate and deposit agreement with one of my close confidant.
The Amount being deposited is much about 17.5 Million United states dollars, as this was the money that was supposed to be used by the President to acquire some properties in Africa..
As a matter of fact this transaction demands honesty and sincerity, as soon as this money is claimed by you, I will look for a way and sneaked out of Philippines and travel down to meet you in your country.
I would like us to go into investment partnership together by investing this fund in your country and anywhere else you prefer. I will send to you the deposit certificate and authoritative agreement as soon as recieve your mail. please i want you to know that this transaction is legitimate, risk free and cost free i think all expected of you is lassoing role with a lot reciprocal merit attached to it.
Not to mentioned instant benefit of five million united states dollars as soon the shipment is accomplish within two days depending on your lassoing capacity because all major cost including shipment charge,demuurage and custodian charges already settled.
contact me at my private contact below the reason for this
is that there is need for some confidentiality to be
exercise.
private contact :laarni_lan@yahoo.com
With love and concern,
Madam Laarni Enriquez

Whoa! It's a good thing I had encountered a website dedicated to busting scams like this (god knows I've forgotten the url). In any case, this is the classic Nigerian Scam. Otherwise known as the Advance fee fraud. What will happen next should I contact this Laarni is that she will require me to send her my own money in order to get the big payoff. Since the activity is illegal, I'd be incriminating myself should I report her (provided that I bite the bait). From the Wikipedia article:

These scams have come to be associated by the western media with Nigeria due to the massive proliferation of such confidence tricks from that country since the early 1990s, as well as the reputation of the country for corruption. However, these scams typically are carried out in other countries that have either experienced economic turmoil, corruption and dictatorship such as Togo, Congo, the Ivory Coast, Liberia, and Sierra Leone or countries that have a large population of well-educated but unemployed university graduates such as Ghana and Benin or increasingly from cities with large West African immigrant populations, notably London, Amsterdam, Johannesburg and Madrid, and lately also Dubai (United Arab Emirates) and Canada.

The dead giveaway was found by doing a simple google search of the name Laarni Enriquez, which leads you to a Google Groups post. It's practically spam. The profile in SU was created just a few days ago. The SU profile states:

"I am a 41 year-old woman from Manila, Manila Philippines. I am caring lovely and understanding lady, with the fear of God."

Men's Room Etiquette

2006-10-03T11:52:00.000+08:00

I haven't been able to blog for a while. Though not lacking in material, I haven't made the time and commitment to write.

I found this video on YouTube and I think it's great and easily bloggable material. Enjoy!

Death (of) Metal

2006-08-31T11:49:00.000+08:00

I used to be so into Heavy Metal. And by Metal I'm not talking about the '80s-'90s hair bands; I was into the old Metallica, Slayer, Megadeth, and Anthrax. As much as I got into the alternative rock bands, I was also lamenting the fact that the classic metal albums have come and gone.

1990 was a great year for metal, and it was perfect for me because at 13, I was just discovering the albums released that year: Megadeth's Rust in Peace, Death Angel's Act III, Anthrax's Persistence of Time, and Slayer's Seasons in the Abyss.

Fast forward to today, where people like me only have Rapcore and NuMetal to listen to. It just doesn't give the same rush. I saw Metallica when they came to Manila back in 1993 and I had the time of my life.

I'm sure that this kind of music has artistic merit, I only think that it's something I no longer enjoy as much. In any case, here's what Brian Posehn thinks about it:

Bwarharhar, metal up your ASS!!!

Say yer prayers!

2006-08-30T15:56:00.000+08:00

I have begun the practice of praying. I started this past Sunday night/Monday past midnight while staying over at my best friend Tristan's. Well, he got me into it. I was thinking, "Sure , it can't hurt." Only that when he started leading, he proceeded into such eloquent praise, supplication, surrender, and well, praying. I was thinking like this is how it must have been to be around King David when he was writing the Psalms.

Now I'm not saying that the quality of the prayer itself is comparable to a Psalm, but I'm saying that the experience of being in such prayer exceeded anything that I have ever witnessed or done in my whole life as a Christian.

I felt the connection, and at the same time a level of power and humility that I don't even understand. And the thing is, even if I don't understand, I get what it is for me. I get to worship and pray.

Tristan is very pleased with himself that I discovered this heading into my wedding. I've no doubt that Alecon would be delighted; as I suppose she wouldn't have to drag me to church anymore.

Some notes: kneeling is the way to go. It gives you such focus. Often in my youth and especially when doing the rythmic prayers/chants (novenas and the rosary) we were all seated, which only led to daydreaming and other distraction. Another thing is to pattern the prayer after "The Lord's Prayer" such that the following elements are covered: adoration, thanksgiving, specific requests for specific needs, requests for wisdom, and deliverance from sin/evil.

What it is to pray and at the same time hold oneself fully responsible for all results and consequences in life (to live without justification and blame) is to live in paradox and mystery. I give up the expectation or even the inclination to solve it. The mystery is not a problem to be fixed or solved. It's just the way it is. So I choose to live within it.

Disclaimer: I am in no way a theologist, apologist, scriptural analyst, spiritual advisor, or any religio-spiritual expert. I'm just sharing, and that's the game.

Guitar Porn 2

2006-08-25T17:21:00.000+08:00

Last time on Guitar Porn I featured the G3 concert series with Joe Satriani, Steve Vai, and Yngwie Malmsteen. Now let's have an acoustic set, with John Mclaughlin, Paco de Lucia, and Al Di Meola. I discovered this trio of music when Tower Records was new back in 1999. I just picked up their concert CD, titled "Friday Night in San Francisco". I put it on the listening booth and was blown to bits.

By this time I was no longer playing seriously, but I had so many concerts in my mind playing the tracks from this record. I couldn't distinguish who was playing what part, so I imagined I was all 3.

Enough talk, here they are for your listening and viewing pleasure:

AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! That's the game!

How do you prepare for your day?

2006-08-25T15:14:00.000+08:00

Just for fun, I responded to an application question (one of those on-line job-search things; I'm not really looking for a new job, just wondering who'll bite). So, assuming that the question above pertains to a day of work, here's what I answered:

The day planning really begins at the end of the previous month (in turn influenced by the year's strategy). At the end of the month I identify the most important outcomes that I need for the coming month, then I design and schedule activities to produce them. This will give some kind of weekly skeleton of a schedule (I try not to make things too detailed and tight, it results in inflexibility and unnecessary stress).

With this in place, at the end of the week (anywhere between Friday and Sunday depending on my mood) I set out to plan the coming week. For this purpose I've used a number of tools (both software-based and pen-and-paper); right now I'm just using Microsoft Outlook, as I enjoy it's feature of sending email to meeting participants as you schedule your meetings and what not.

I begin with identifying the key outcomes I want for the week, then design activities that produce it (involve the resources as I go along). Once I've come up with the activities I plot the schedule. If the resources (people, facilities) cannot be confirmed at the time. I make this my first task on Monday.

The logic behind this is that I don't want to compromise these activities when the urgent and important things suddenly appear over the course of the week (and despite the best efforts of humanity and general, emergencies and surprises still occur).

This schedule will and does look still wide-open when it gets plotted on the calendar, and I enjoy the feeling of being "ready for anything" that having such a loose schedule allows. During the course of each day, new activities are plotted on the calendar.

The best times to work on the calendar for me is near the beginning of the day, after reading my mail, and once again at the end of the day, after taking into account all the meetings and resolved work. This effectively sets up the next day.

This kind of planning allows me to be leisurely in the morning (as is my wont).

I wonder if there are others who go about their time the same way.

Guitar Porn

2006-08-24T14:12:00.000+08:00

As I've mentioned in a previous post, I've gotten back into playing music; specifically guitar playing. At present I feel it will take about a full year before my playing is actually listenable. Moreover, I haven't begun shopping for my own equipment. I'll be sure to blog about that exciting, um, quest if I may.

I won't have a lot of money to go around, and right now I don't know where to shop for guitars and related instruments here in the Philippines. I work at a place where there's a nearby showroom for Godin, Washburn, and Seagull guitars, but I don't know enough about these brands for me to make an intelligent purchase.

The most accessible store (found in shopping malls) is the still-standing JB Music and Sports store, who retails Fernandez, Hamer, and Paul Reed Smith guitars. I'm interested in a Paul Reed Smith, mostly because Koyuki from Beck (manga) wanted one for himself (he couldn't afford one). The PRS models I've seen (on sale) are pretty reasonable (I'm not sure what are reasonable prices for branded guitars these days), so I want to check one out one of these days. I would like their 513 Rosewood model, even though the Santana models must be pretty good. See it here.

But I've also heard from a musician acquaintance of mine that there are great bargains to be had in the used equipment scene. There are many amateur and/or underground musicians here in the Philippines so I would like to get into this - for a budget for the PRS, I may get maybe more than one guitar and perhaps even an amplifier and/or related equipment.

Eventually, I would want my own Les Paul Custom guitar. It's my dream instrument, just like Ryusuke's in Beck.

For an amp, I want a Marshall, no matter how small. That belongs to another post though. I named this post guitar porn because it's going to contain media that those truly besotten with guitar lust would salivate over. Here is a video of the G3 performance featuring Joe Satriani, Steve Vai, and Yngwie Malmsteen covering Jimi Hendrix's "Little Wing."

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Such gratuitous soloing! I don't necessarily want to be like them, but I certainly wouldn't mind having their ability now, won't I?

Mechwarrior: the tabletop miniatures game

2006-08-23T14:46:00.000+08:00

I used to play this game a lot. I was at the height of my time being a "gamer" when I played Mechwarrior: Dark Age competitively. Having played the now "classic" Battletech paper and pen board game in the early '90s, as well as the really old PC game Battletech: The Crescent Hawk's Inception back in '88, I got hooked really early.

There's really something about big robots shooting it out with everything else.

The MW:DA game featured the trademark clix system pioneered by WizKids games; this allowed the game to move at a much faster pace than its pen and paper counterpart. The clix - represented by a combat dial beneath each miniature figure's base did all the math for you, effectively integrating random dice play without sacrificing speed of resolution.

The game is played on a 3'x3' surface and since distance (effective firing range) is a factor, tape measure is a key tool for playing. Here is a sample of a game played in our garage:

Here you can see two battleforces (of combined arms units) duke it out with each other. Battletech/Mechwarrior has an extensive fictional universe (like Star Wars), so there is some attraction to playing characters I'm familiar with (having read some of the source material).

So in this game we can stage small battles between factions with bitter rivalries. We can engage in gentlemanly banter or out-and-out trash talking. We got to collect pretty plastic robots. We get to roll dice and scream. It was fun!

Unfortunately, the game was very unbalanced, and atrociously so. Our tight gaming community was lamenting the fact that the game rewarded players who fielded few to no battlemechs (the robots), to the effect that actually playing the robots was the biggest liability to winning.

The unfortunate result was that most of us discontinued playing. Some of us moved on to better-designed games like Dungeons and Dragons Miniatures, seen here featuring my buddies Mon and Nico:

What distinguished that game is that when the figures started attacking (usually hacking at each other), it never stopped until one side's units were wiped out. What's exciting about Mechwarrior this time around is that it promises nearly end-to-end shootouts featuring mechs blasting everything else to atoms.

I haven't started playing again, but my brothers and I have been talking about it. My kid brother Jonathan is the 2003 national champion here in the Philippines. If the gameplay changes prove to be true (I'm waiting for some of our friends to come over the garage for a few pick-ups), then I would love to get into the game again (though perhaps not as competitive as I used to be).

Some trivia: ghostlightning and my blog name "that's the game!" were all created during this fun gaming period in 2003. Mon (seen in the picture above) is one the people who contributed much to developing this persona. I sometimes think that ghostlightning is a representation of my id in its purest form, kind of like Tyler Durden in Fight Club, only more likely to grandstand and less inclined to act.

Phillipine Idol

2006-08-22T10:31:00.000+08:00

I had recently begun following Philippine Idol. I think I'm going to get into some trouble saying this, but I will anyway: the contestants SUCK. Whether its due to the saturation by all the annual competing singing talent searches or what not. There was very little that I saw (and heard) in the last two episodes that I've seen that tells me that one of these contestants will truly be impressive.

Let's benchmark: in the interest of fairness, I wont mark the bench at the Kelly Clarkson, Fantasia Brarrino, and Carrie Underwood. I'll place the bar at Sarah Geronimo, Christian Bautista, and Erik Santos.

With that out of the way, I must say that I haven't seen or heard anyone from the hopefuls with comparable singing chops. Admittedly it's a bit early to say, but if you watch the audition videos for the abovementioned American Idols (especially that of current Idol Taylor Hicks, which you can view you must say it was quite impressive to begin with).

Well, as I was looking for a fair comparison sample, I came across this:

Hmm, I think I'm changing my mind about my original opinion. I don't I could be fair making a sweeping pass having seen only two episodes and only half of the eliminations at the CCP. In any case, after watching that girl, I'm getting excited about the idol search. I totally missed out on last season's American Idol and this year I'm prepared to make an emotional investment in one of the contestants here in the Philippines.

A 180-degree opinion change in mid-post! Now that's the game!

How I got back into playing music

2006-08-18T16:48:00.000+08:00

I had recently picked up the guitar again. Those who've known me back in high school could've said that me and a guitar were inseperable. I had fallen madly over rock, punk, and metal music when I was 13 - listening to local bands like The Dawn, the Dead Ends, G. I. and the Idiots, Betrayed, and a few others; of foreign bands I got started on Guns N' Roses, Metallica, Slayer, Anthrax, Megadeth, and Death Angel.

This was 1990-1991, and preceded the arrival of bands like Nirvana and Pearl Jam. I was a metalhead first before I was taken in by the "grunge" acts of the early to mid-90s.

So it was 1991 when I (as a 14-year old sophomore) inexplicably brought my dad's little-used nylon string guitar to school. I did not know how to use it, but I carried it around as if I did. It wasn't until I met Miguel Ramirez (16-year old senior), who wanted to check out my guitar. And how did he!

He started playing Metallica songs, and I practically begged him to teach me. My classes wouldn't start until 10am, but I'd go to school before 7am just to catch him before his first class so he can teach me. And to his credit he was one of the most generous people and really taught me enough guitar chops for me to form a band of my own and even write my own music (in the following years).

I had stopped playing guitar seriously after a year in college (around 1996) especially since metal had gone so far out of fashion. I had met Miggy again a month ago quite randomly and serependipitously in a bookstore, and I was sharing to him this anime I had watched where there was this 14-year old kid meeting this 16-year old guitar player which led to his passion for rock music. It was too much of a coincidence. I had watched this anime Beck not expecting to be so profoundly moved by a boy's discovery of music and his picking up to learn the guitar.

Here's a sample:

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Koyuki was just this boring kid with a naive taste in music (God, I remember being a fan of Debbie Gibson and the New Kids on the Block around his age). After meeting Ryusuke who introduced him to the fictional band The Dying Breed, his life changed (much like how I discovered Guns N' Roses and Metallica). His growth in musical taste as well as some of his misadventures in learning guitar is so much like my own that I couldn't help but be inspired.

After this particular scene, I knew I was hooked:

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Now I don't harbor dreams of being a rockstar, like Koyuki my musicianship is very poor. However, I do want to continue writing songs and I think this is a productive and fulfilling hobby. I think after a year of practicing my guitar playing will be somewhat listenable. In the mean time, I'll rock on!

King Solomon's judgment acumen would be really useful right now

2006-08-17T15:46:00.000+08:00

How do you know that you're the boss? You know when you're the boss (or at least one of them) when you're put in the unhappy position of having to punish a member of your staff for proven offenses against the organization.

Yech. I would make for a poor judge I think, in the sense that although I can distinguish facts, stories, and interpretation pretty well, I'm horrible with punishment. How long? How severe? How much?

I'm one of those people who feel that guilt (and the accompanying remorse) is punishment enough. Guilt as suffering is terrible (to me, at least).

Suspension, as a punishment of offenses against the company (which impacts the offender with the loss of income that would have been earned while working) makes sense to me more when the offender is suspended to protect the organization from further offense from the same (and of the same nature). Honestly I can think of very few offenses that are so repeatable in this fashion, and most of these would be done by individuals that are shown to be unapologetic and remorseless.

So when an employee shows authentic remorse, along with an offer to make amends, then suspension makes less sense.

In my own experience, having been suspended once, the time that I served only set me back in improving the operations whose breakdowns were the issue of my suspension in the first place. I feel that it set the organization back further to punish with a suspension - what would have worked was to require me (or the employee) to report to work without pay.

This would have tested the authenticity of my desire to make amends, and I did too! I attended a meeting one day, and performed in a consulting capacity for another business unit in the next.

However, requiring people to work without pay is illegal (involuntary servitude). The employee must sign waivers that clear the organization. Therefore it would have to be strictly voluntary. In the West they have a practice of "docking pay", here in the Philippines it is still quite illegal.

I'm tempted to do a Pilate, but it is also a leader's job to deliver judgment. In this case, I'll be suspending one of my boys. I don't think anybody wins.

Burnout

2006-08-14T13:35:00.000+08:00

I haven't posted in a long time. I was having a blogger identity crisis wherein I didn't know how I wanted That's the game! to be like. I mean, I'm randomly posting about music and such, so I had an idea of making a separate blog about that and keep this one strictly about journalizing.

I'm still inconclusive about that, because I've just started re-learning the guitar and have committed to ROCK! Long story there and I'd love to write about that here as well. In any case, that's not what I'm writing about today.

I didn't think it would happen to me, but I'm almost certain that I'm burning out. It's not because I'm buried in work or can't keep up with work. It's more like I feel that what I do makes less and less of a difference in the whole scheme of things here in the organization.

One does not practice organization development only to look out for a discreet corner of the organization. If there are people who do, then I haven't met them. What's more, I have observed (and a few others have as well) that I've shifted to a more reactive mode of working (as opposed to being proactive). I've started firefighting in my operations more and more - and frankly I'm still in this mode.

How can a practicioner of organization development, of planned change, be firefighting? I have made some naive assumptions about my work in this particular organization and now find myself as the process owner of systems I've designed for the organization.

This is peculiar and remarkable only in that a practitioner of organization development is normally not a process owner. The systems or interventions that lead to new systems or processer are owned by the departments or functioned served by the practicioner. It didn't quite happen here, and now I find myself as a regulator with too much (frankly) signatory powers (in relation to approval of employee movement).

Is this a rant or complaint? No. This is just an acknowledgment of what I've created or gotten myself into. The paradigm in the organization is that each employee's value is measured somehow in a business-as-usual deliverable in regular intervals. So if you don't have these, the members of the organization have trouble understanding the function of the employee and even justifying the existence of the employee in the payroll.

This becomes a problem for employees whose work load is composed primarily of projects. There are little, if any day to day regular activities. Sigh.

I've lost my initial train of thought, and it seems to me that I've lost my footing in my work. There's so much work to do, only that I feel that my resources are tied up somehow, and that the essential work isn't getting done.

I need a break, to think and plan and organize. I won't take a break primarily because I've been saving all my vacation leaves for my honeymoon in December. In the meantime, things are the way they are because that's how they are.

Lynn Minmay and the whole Macross thing

2006-06-23T12:00:00.000+08:00

I have always loved Macross. I actually enjoyed both the original TV series as well as the Harmony Gold work that rewrote the different anime of Macross, Southern Cross, and Mospaeda into the Robotech saga (Carl Macek) which included novels by Jack McKinney (most of which I've read).

Obviously (to some people at least), I loved Superdimensional Space Fortress Macross because of the gorgeous transformable mecha. But much like most fans of the anime, the attraction is for the soap-opera love-triangle of the three lead characters: Lisa Hayase, Hikaru Ichijoe, and Lynn Minmay. Of the three, Minmay's character is the most enduring - beyond being pretty and cute (requirements for an anime ingeneue), Minmay became a star because of the truly catchy and well-made pop songs that elevated the anime from its peers.

The songs created such mood and context for the anime that did much to flesh-out the 21st century space-age setting. The songs were also important in that it made the "Minmay becomes a superstar" plotline credible; and most of all, how music and the terran society (intersexual as opposed to the Zentraedi monosexual) will create enough "Shock and Awe" among the Zentraedi so that the final attack against them could succeed.

Here is the scene in "Do You Remember Love" wherein Minmay's song Ai oboeteimasuka (in the story: the secret code of the ancient proto-society wherein both warring races come from); note the reactions of the Zentraedi and how the Superdimensional Fortress Macross eventually succeeds.

The context: the love-triangle is broken when Ichijoe breaks up with Minmay and chooses Lisa (more due to the former's lack of maturity and behavior as a stuck-up fading popstar, manifesting on how she fails to get why flying is so important to Ichijoe as she tries to force him to give it all up). Minmay, although heartbroken gives up her selfishness (she had vowed never to sing again) and agrees, asked by Ichijoe to sing the song that is the only hope of their victory. In her doing so, almost everything is redeemed.

She is a vapid, ditzy, and insipid little girl, whose pettiness and selfishness couldn't (until the end) how much bigger her talent is than her concerns. And to this day she is loved by all Macross enthusiasts, even though most of them would pick and are partial to Lisa. Also it would have much to do with the uncanny brilliance of the songs themselves.

The treat I discovered quite recently is Iijima Mari, the seiiyu (voice actor) for Lynn Minmay and also the singer (and at times songwriter) of her songs. Now based in the U.S., she is going to be the voice actor for the English re-issue of Macross in the U.S. This is big news, since the Robotech series had no way to translate the songs and was forced to improvise - with quite disgusting results.

The thing about Mari, is how uncanny her resemblance is to Minmay (not exactly down to her looks, but she does give you this Japanese teen idol - which she actually was, vibe). I'll post other videos capturing this Minmay "feel" but in the mean time, here is her personal favorite from all the Macross recordings.

of eggs, and etiquette

2006-06-21T14:59:00.000+08:00

Tristan and I met up yesterday afternoon for some coffee and conversation - which led to one of the more creative moments that I've had in recent memory. We had a lot to share about our amateur musical compositions and we even got to write and comment on the spot.

What really made it great was our game of renga writing; although the renga is supposed to be written by a minimum of four "players", the exercise was quite exciting and the result was very fulfilling for that evening.

So here is our 2-player version of the renga. In this 12-liner, Tristan and I had 6 lines each, one after the other. I wonder if anyone could guess who would have written which line. The title itself is one part Tristan, one part Michael. Here, I would rather the reader guess who wrote what.

Of eggs, and etiquette
I have some eggs in the fridge
That I'd like to throw off over a bridge
I wonder if they can learn to swim
Or remain intact on a whim

With shells dappled or white
Like the purity of angels, the divinity of light
Their souls oscillate in yellow
Like the ebb and flow of hope - a prayer for tomorrow

Their trajectory renders the abortive act
Hesitation plunges them to remain in the sack
So the crocodiles are saved by such sudden etiquette
They weep, they grumble for a sad fate met

Now, this for all intents and purposes is an unedited raw draft. At present we have no intention to make a literary edition of this particular game. I just want to be treated by the reader who could guess who wrote which line in the game. Tell me what you think.

Sharing with you stuff I REALLY like series: Yoko Kanno 1

2006-06-18T16:38:00.000+08:00

Since my good friend Mon introduced me to Shinichiro Watanabe's Cowboy Bebop, I have grown into a love affair with not only to the anime itself (which is truly badass) but also to the composer of its music, the genius Kanno Yoko Even though I had enjoyed her music in other noteworthy anime such as Macross Plus and Vision of Escaflowne (both are favorites of mine), it was her work in Cowboy Bebop that really did it for me.

Showing remarkable versatility in creating over 5 original sountrack albums for the anime, YK has impressed me with her ability to rock, jazz, blues, and weirdo (sorry, I don't know how else to relate to her eclectic style) her way to awesome listening pleasure - not only in terms of melodies and catchiness, but also in nuance - which is the joy of music geeks like yours truly.

As an introduction to her work, here is a video of the opening theme of Cowboy Bebop, titled Tank! performed LIVE!

Mother of All Malls

2006-05-21T14:48:00.000+08:00

I paid a visit to the grand opening of my friend Karl's latest Figaro's branch. His is the largest Figaro's cafe in Manila, located in a brilliant position near the Hypermart (supermarket) of the SM Mall of Asia: what has got to be the most humungous monster of a mall in the galaxy.

Also celebrating its grand opening - this mall let's you feel how BIG it is. It looks like a spaceship dreadnaught, a veritable superdimensional space fortress. Maybe it was designed as our first (and last) line of defense against evil space marauders, with super robots held within its secret cavernous mecha hangars. This is not that big of a stretch, mind you - not while a huge metal globe is displayed a few hundred meters in front of the structure's facade. It may well be it's intra-stellar space-radar to spot early threats.

It looks like at least two Megamalls stetched side-by-side, with an apparent floor area of at least four times that of SM Megamall.
Even if at present it's only operating at 40% capacity, that's still a whole lot of commerce. When I stepped out of Figaro's I thought I'd be near the entrance to the mall proper. My goodness! It felt like walking a whole city block! I think it would take at least two days to explore the mall in its entirety.

Still, I didn't expect so many people. Well, Manila is the most densely-populated city in the Philippines so I shoudn't be surprised. The entrance to the mall is choked by a line of people squirming and wriggling like a giant slug. Needless to say, I had the fortunate wisdom to desist from exploring the mall, new and interesting as it may be.

Well, I think Karl's Figaro will do well in this mall. His cafe is very accessible from outside the mall itself (though you'd be a fool to think that it'd be a leisurely walk - things are deceptively near in this mall). What will be my reason for ever visiting this monstrosity (I'm not a big fan of malls)? That would be the first IMAX theater. I can't wait to see the new X-Men movie in it next weekend.

Mr. President

2006-05-19T17:06:00.000+08:00

I've never won an election. The few times that I ran in an election though, I was always running for the most senior executive position. The people who voted for me and nominated me, did see something - a presence that must have resembled talent for leadership (most likely it was just my loud speaking), and these people more often than not were teachers, department heads, and principals. Maybe I was that kind of boy that even though I thought of myself as a progressive liberal, I appealed to the establishment more (only the LORD knows why).

The most memorable probably was in my 6th grade when I ran for Jr. Mayor of the (then) Municipality of Muntinlupa. I was soundly defeated by a representative of one of the district's largest schools (I would enroll in that school the following year as a high school freshman). The principal of my school and the other schools were quite taken by my outspokenness and encouraged my nomination. Ugh.

I've lost so many times that I completely lacked any confidence to run for candidacy for any elected position in student government in college. I mean, there were supporters and people who were willing to back me. However, I had truly lost my nerve. When I was still into regret, I did regret not becoming a student official. I mean, after college I found myself writing laws for Congress! I think I would've been able to contribute to the creation of sound university legislation.

But enough of that. I didn't intend to get back into the habit of regret. What brought about this introspection is how the marketing professor in the MBA for Middle Managers program of the Ateneo Graduate School of Business treated me towards the end of the talk I delivered for her class (the talk was about the outsourcing industry; I had a lot of interesting talking points since I started reading this book).

I was sharing about the problems being faced by the outsourcing industry, and it so happens that these are the same problems that influence and affect so many things here in the Philippines, not only business and lifestyle. The crux of my theory is that the Philippine economy behaves as if it's the United States. We produce comparably little in terms of manufacturing, and we have ceased to have the agricultural ability to feed ourselves (we have been importing our staple food product - rice, for about a decade now). Economic activity is primarily through consumption: our available land is not being developed for production capacity - too much of it is being developed into resorts, residential subdivisions, and shopping centers (tiangges, department store-style ukay-ukays, and the variations of malls). We are a bargain retail economy. The other industry that remains stable are the food and recreation services that are situated in these shopping centers.

We don't produce anything in large scale proportions, and what we do produce is not competitive in terms of quality. Considering that we aren't an agricultural supplier in a meaningful way, where does our economy go from here?

Our largest source of revenue (dollar remittances from expatriate laborers) are being sent back here but are not invested. This money is spent on real-estate, recreation, and consumer goods and services. Never mind the impact on the family units: the spouse left behind ceases to work and develop qualifications for work. Even worse, participates in bigamy/adultery and makes dependent children on the income of the expatriate (But of course there are obvious exceptions).

Business Process Outsourcing (BPO) which includes call centers, offer some respite from the expatriate diaspora. However, I have raised the threat of the diminishing supply of qualified english speakers (the demand is that strong) and the educational system as mandated by law is maddeningly far from able to supply technically-trained graduates who are also conversant in english. If legislation on the mandate to use english as the primary language for education is passed this year, it would take about a decade to bring english language proficiency to where it was about two decades ago. The current staffing of teachers and educators are not qualified to teach it. In that time our regional rivals (most notably China) may have developed a workforce that is much cheaper and provides similar value to what we offer.

But that legislation will not be passed in the current (since at least 25 years ago) political climate. The current congress cannot be bothered with actual legislation being too busy with struggling for control of the government. It frustrates me how our ningas-cogon (blowing hot and cold) nationalistic zeal dug us into this hole. I was part of it! I supported throwing out the American military bases in Clark and Subic back in the Aquino administration. While teaching literature and the politics of language in De La Salle University I actively and adamantly championed post-colonial thinking and nationalism and saw the practice of the Filipino vernacular (as then envisioned) as the key to progress.

But like I said, I will not traffic in regret. The lady professor was very taken and (in-jest, perhaps) invited me to take on a political career to effect the necessary economic policy. Suddenly I was in the sixth grade again, in the presence of a teacher who is from another school, finding me brilliant and asking me to go beyond what I think of myself and what I can do.

Seriously? I was delighted. There's no feeling like it.

Overnight Sensation

2006-05-11T12:02:00.000+08:00

Over the last month I've been spending a lot of time at my best friend Tristan's house. It's been a veritable renaissance of our relationship. Not quite pajama parties, it does involve sleepovers or, as we call them in Filipino parlance, "overnights" (as in overnight stays).

I realize that with my wedding coming soon (December 10th, with the great and awesome and utterly adorable Alecon) , spending my time like this with friends would be highly improbable; making this particular stretch even more precious.

Looking back at my adolescence and extended adolescence (I'm still there I think), I realize that I've spent quite a number of nights sleeping in other people's houses. I've had the privilege of having generous friends (especially back in college when I began to have friends who lived in other parts of the city) especially Nick and Patrick. After school I found myself bunking over other friends' house for leisure and sometimes project-related purposes (gaming, mostly) - Nico's, Gino's, Aljor's, and Mon's.

Isn't it quite wonderful to have been made to feel at home, in so many different homes?

When I'm not sleeping over at Tristan's, I'm spending my nights sleeping over at Alecon's. Of course I can only write this here because I don't think my future mother-in-law (Leticia), reads my blog. How do I get to sleep at Alecon's place despite the conservative vigilance of her mother?

Like with most heists to supposedly secure premises, it's an inside job. Alecon sneaks me in after midnight when her parents are asleep, then hustles me to sleep in a vacant maids' quarters. Her parents seem to swallow the story that I come in around 4-5 AM, but as to how can they (both parents are lawyers like their daughter) possibly believe that - it sure beats me.

Soon enough, I won't have to sleep over at Alecon's because I'll be moving in. After we get married she said she wouldn't be too averse to my doing slumber parties with Tristan - perhaps then I could have friends over and host my own. I've always wanted to be generous, everyday gives me new opportunities to be so.

'Gotta love piracy

2006-04-27T11:27:00.000+08:00

It's been a while since I last posted, and many things have been happening. Problems? Sure. Though I guess these would be the kind of problems one would actually like to have. So, what's the big deal?

After a year or so working in a corporation, the headhunters have started to come calling. Good news? Great news, in terms of fulfilling my esteem needs. Nothing puffs you up like another company telling you that you're worth more money than you're currently getting. That aside, even though the conversations I've been having are with headhunters and not the corporations themselves, I'm beginning to entertain thoughts of joining another company.

This is new for me. I love where I am and adore the people (including my boss!). I feel that my experience here has been one of the most empowering ones in my life. I got to do stuff that I wanted to do. Nobody really stood in my way. Almost everyone are enablers. Yes the pay doesn't quite stack up to other middle-managers in the same industry, but it sure isn't an insult!

What makes it complicated is that I have an ongoing project to create an enterprise-wide department that effectively promotes me into a director (senior manager). This is a great role and there'll be so much fun along the way - working and mentoring new people.

One of the soft-offers is that of an AVP position for the 3rd largest mobile communications service. That's HUGE for me. I've learned how difficult it could be setting up an organization development function from a middle management position. As a practitioner of organization development, it really makes a difference when one's involved in the creation or facilitation of organizational strategy.

No decisions yet. It's just a bit uncomfortable because everything's in flux. What I'd like to share is what I learned about the job of the professional headhunter, a pirate in some people's views. Well, they enable organizations to poach employees of other organizations. As far as that lady is concerned, her role is to "make happy people happier."

Well, I'm a happy guy. I can certainly dig that.

Ornery

2006-03-24T16:01:00.000+08:00

Sometimes things just get to me. It's frustrating how we as a (metropolitan and cosmopolitan species) array ourselves with so much technology (camera-mp3-radio mobile phones), planners and organizers which end up becoming the very source of our upsets. Well, mine anyway.

The headset of my Nokia 6230 is already giving me all sorts of problems. It's at a point when I actually have to hold the wire and the phone a certain way for me to hear anything through it. Combine this with my complulsive need to get as much value out of my stuff (in this case use the phone's fm radio as I commute) that I put myself through so much discomfort.

I take public transport, and I've done so since forever. A significant part of my life has been spent on buses, jeepneys, taxicabs and even tricycles. It often takes me four rides to get to my office (all of the above) and to me, it's very uncomfortable and inconvenient

Public transportation compromises my personal space. I get crowded and I have so little room to move, take out my wallet, the book I want to read, a jacket or umbrella, respond to a text message, or take a call. It is my indulgent and decadent desire to be chauffeured. When I become a person of some means this is one conceit that I will unashamedly allow myself.

Let me walk you through one of my least-favorite moments of my life: interacting with the conductor ng bus (the bus personnel that acts as cashier). You give your bill/banknote and he tells you he'll get back to you because he doesn't have ready change.

Now here I am, my wallet out of my bag and I desperately want to put it back in so I can go back to my reading (which would mean I have to take out my book which I put back in so I can interact with the conductor), or go back to sleep. So he writhes his way away from me through the packed bus and I'm debating with myself: will I put my wallet in or wait for him to conclude our transaction? Bear in mind that I am really crowded by the other passengers the whole time this is happening.

After an intolerable time has passed, he gets back to me and asks for my tickets - which, by now, I've tucked in somewhere it won't clutter my immediate space. Fidget, nudge, fidget, nudge - I produce his damned tickets which he then promptly tears in the middle without completely tearing it apart (a secret ritual among conductors that's still a mystery to me). Then he gives me a coagulated clump of my torn bus tickets, assorted ratty bills, and coins of various sizes.

I promise you this is enough stress to ruin my day. And I do this almost every day. So sometimes, I do get ornery.

Say what you will, I do pay my taxes DAMMIT!

2006-03-23T15:44:00.000+08:00

On the way to the Barangay Office this morning to get my cedula (Community Tax Certificate), I was having an intense conversation with myself as to how much I would pay for it. Ever since I've been an adult, I've always declared myself unemployed and only paid Php 5.00 for the CTC. Technically it was true because for a long time I've been working short-term contracts and project-based assignments that was difficult (for me) to account for.

But for the first time, I actually spent a full year making a decent salary and I would be out of integrity if I declared myself unemployed (to avoid paying the percentage tax). The CTC number is required in completing my annual tax return. God forbid I screw up that document now that all that tax money has already been withheld from my salary.

So I paid the percentage of my gross earnings for my community tax. I really should, since I really really love living in that community. While in the Barangay Office I was also able to claim my voter's ID. Neat.

I know that there are a whole lot of people who hustle their community tax by declaring themselves unemployed. You SUCK!

Lost

2006-03-22T18:53:00.000+08:00

Nothing to do with the hit tv show, I have come to enjoy this short poem by David Wagoner. My friend and mentor has used this extensively in his leadership training programs.

Lost

Stand still. The trees ahead and bushes beside you
Are not lost.
Wherever you are is called Here,
And you must treat it as a powerful stranger,
Must ask permission to know it and be known.
The forest breathes. Listen. It answers,
I have made this place around you,
If you leave it you may come back again, saying
Here.
No two trees are the same to Raven.
No two branches are the same to Wren.
If what a tree or a bush does is lost on you,
You are surely lost. Stand still. The forest knows
Where you are. You must let it find you.

David Wagoner

I'm not about to interpret the poem for you or anything like that. Once I was a teacher of literature and it's funny how I never ran into David Wagoner. Even though the forest here is nowhere in our tropical country, I get how existence can be expressed as a forest - though for most of us, existence itself is not the seemingly sentient and wise forest in Wagoner's poem.

Nonetheless, the poem comforts me - as difficult it is to truly stand still.

A Question of Organization

2006-03-20T17:09:00.000+08:00

I am not as organized as I think I am. I do know what I need to do though; I need to mark a cutoff time: when/where my weekend ends and the next week begins - even though it's still Sunday. The wayt I've been behaving during the year so far is that I attempt to extend my weekend as long as I can (well into Monday). This is especially when my call time falls later in the day (or night).

I need to take time on a Sunday to plan the week ahead. I have the benefit of having a versatile and highly-functional planner - that has served me very well especially (and obviously) when I take the time to plan my work week - on a given Sunday. Obviously, the more I procrastinate in planning, the less value I get out of using the planner; and consequently my week is significantly less organized.

The tradeoff is, I don't get to be on break when I intend to be on break - which is Sunday (mine and most people's break time). The benefit is of working on a Sunday is that I won't necessarily lapse into on break behavior when I'm not on my break, in action when I have every intention of being lively, crisp and snappy.

I do miss my laptop. My old one (issued by the company) gave up the ghost and our collective efforts to patch together a replacement from the various remains of other machines have not met much success.

There was a time when I overdid the whole laptop bit and found myself working all the time; compromising my weekends and holidays. Now that I don't have a laptop I perceive a dropoff in my efficiency and productivity - not that it compromises my deliverables, only that I miss out on documenting and working on ideas and insights that serependipitously occur to me in my repose or leisure. I mean I do get some neat ideas that has impact on work concerns and issues, projects and such. There is something so comforting in having a live and working computer ready to work with anything you come up with at home or wherever.

Since I'm not committed to work on a Sunday, I won't feel bad if I don't use the computer.

So where's my replacement unit? I just came from a instant messenger chat with my boss and we're toying with the idea of sticking it to the man and bypassing the bureaucracy and just buy the damn thing and charge it to the company. Well, it is the nature of bureaurocracy to slow down the organization and eliminate maverick behavior at the cost of agility and quickness of decision-making and implementation. The usual response of enterprising individuals in a bureaurocracy is to uhm, stick it to the man. that is to follow the unwritten rule:

"In a bureaurocracy, it is easier to apologize than to obtain permission."

Well, I'm in action to get my unit. It's damn time. I really feel that I'm missing out on my natural excitement for work and lose all my momentum every weekend - something that I'm not committed to getting used to. I'm getting organized.

Happy things I find online

2006-03-18T00:58:00.000+08:00

In my previous posts I've disclosed that I was a graduate of literary studies and to some extent I've pursued higher learning in literary scholarship. As a human resources professional one may think that I'd have a gradual falling out of touch with the subject matter and would fail to keep abreast with the developments in the literary world (save for the tremendously popular books that come along every now and then). However, I do think that the students of the humanities make for the best kind of managers.

The logic is, they start out being trained as humans first and in the appreciation of things human. They can learn all things mathematical and mechanistic in due course. In an ideal world, I would have future hires in management be graduates of humaties (liberal arts) courses first, MBAs subsequently, and participation in an ongoing program in the school of hard knocks.

As you can see in the things Im consuming, I've been fortunate to have been able to maintain a voracious reading habit - though for the most part I read philosophy books, non-fiction, and novels. What I haven't been able to continue reading is poetry.

Thank goodness for the internet. There are so many poetry resources. Today I discovered Wyslawa Szymborzka.

True Love

True love. Is it normal
is it serious, is it practical? What does the world get from two people
who exist in a world of their own?

Placed on the same pedestal for no good reason,
drawn randomly from millions but convinced
it had to happen this way - in reward for what?
For nothing.
The light descends from nowhere.
Why on these two and not on others?
Doesn't this outrage justice? Yes it does.
Doesn't it disrupt our painstakingly erected principles,
and cast the moral from the peak? Yes on both accounts.

Look at the happy couple.
Couldn't they at least try to hide it,
fake a little depression for their friends' sake?
Listen to them laughing - its an insult.
The language they use - deceptively clear.
And their little celebrations, rituals,
the elaborate mutual routines -
it's obviously a plot behind the human race's back!

It's hard even to guess how far things might go
if people start to follow their example.
What could religion and poetry count on?
What would be remembered? What renounced?
Who'd want to stay within bounds?

True love. Is it really necessary?
Tact and common sense tell us to pass over it in silence,
like a scandal in Life's highest circles.
Perfectly good children are born without its help.
It couldn't populate the planet in a million years,
it comes along so rarely.

Let the people who never find true love
keep saying that there's no such thing.

Their faith will make it easier for them to live and die.

Wislawa Szymborska

Isn't that just great? Such a funny jibe at the cynics of love. Peter Senge (yes, that guy who wrote extensively on systems thinking and the learning organization) wrote,

"...scratch the surface of most cynics and you'll find a frustrated idealist - someone who made the mistake of converting one's ideals into expectations."

Well, easy for me to quote - being in such a wonderful relationship myself. It's just one of those times that the internet really makes your day.

My Adversity Quotient/Response Profile

2006-03-17T21:23:00.000+08:00

Having taken the short version of the Adversity Response Profile assessment, I gathered a result of 169. This seems to be a high number.

Paul G. Stoltz, designed a model personality or character profile that ultimately and directly impacts the quality of our lives. This is the Adversity Quotient - our ability to deal with adversity.

Given that it is the very nature of existence to experience adversity - the first adverse situation in any given life being the ejection from the relative safety and comfort of the womb into the unsterilized and life-threatining world outside it, it is worth studying how we as individuals respond to adversity. This profile I think explains how I got to my present circumstances and gives insight to how I feel about my past experience as well as my present circumstances.

My score, 169 tells me that I have the ability to withstand significant adversity and continue to move forward and upward in life. Well! This may be due in part that I somehow maintain the theory that I am one of Fortune's Favorites, and that a great destiny is my birthright.

This is the profile of the Climber (the other two being that of the Quitter and the Camper). The Climbers feel a deep sense of purpose and passion for what they do. They know how to experience joy, recognizing it as a gift and reward for the climb.

The metaphor for the profiles is a climb on Mt. Everest, success or a high quotient being the ability to reach the peak.

Climbers know that many of the rewards come in the form of long-term benefits, and that small steps now can lead to sizable advances further up the mountain. Similarly, they possess a strong sense of faith in something bigger than themselves.

Climbers are persistent, tenacious, and resilient (yeah baby!). They have the maturity and wisdom to understand that sometimes one needs to go backwards in order to move forward. Setbacks are a natural part of the ascent and as a result, they brave life's hardships with authentic courage and discipline.

This is not to say that they don't get weary, doubt, feel lonely or bruised; only that they have the inner resources to rejuvenate and renew themselves and resume the ascent.

Well, well. I really feel good about being me right now.

Am I ever here?

2006-03-16T02:41:00.000+08:00

I've gotten exceptional training (both in terms of quality and volume) on being present to every moment. A very powerful statement - the motto of my very good friend Aljor goes: "This is IT, and you're the ONE!"

It says that all the decisions and choices that I've made in my life have led me to this moment, and who's responsible for all of those and what's to come is me and no one else.

I agree wholeheartedly. However, I find my behavior consistently at odds with it. Like right now [ed. note: written by hand on my planner while in class] instead of paying full attention to everyone and everything in this training program, I'm doing this; writing and reflecting.

It's inauthentic, in that I am here but I am not here. I'm doing something else. I'm not doing the training. I'm writing blog entries while I pretend to be in training.

Can I "be" in training for the whole duration of the program? Yes absolutely. The reason that I am not, is that I keep insisting on doing all these other things.

I get that I am a creature of gratification - in this particular case, entertainment. If I'm not entertained at a particular moment, I set out to entertain myself in other ways. I'm being proactive like this.

The question is: what is it about this training that I'm resisting? Whatever that is, it's what's keeping me from being present to the training itself, the people in it, and my own objectives.

Somebody's Tired

2006-03-13T16:43:00.000+08:00

I feel tired. What am I tired of? It isn't the work, though that would be the first consequence. Is it related to work? I do experience as much stress as the next accountable employee, but something tells me that isn't it.

What I think is that I'm tired of the long commute from Alabang to Makati. It takes on average an hour to get from either point to the destination. I don't drive. I've taken public transport since the commute from Alabang to De La Salle University in Manila. I think part of what wore me out going to DLSU (where I used to teach) is the long commute (averaging 90 minutes).

It really sucks getting home tired and worn out. As a consequence I compensate by taking taxis - which is a very expensive habit. I spent a ridiculous amount on cab fare last January and I haven't done my February accounting to let me know how much I've been indulgent on my travel preference.

One of the things I look forward to in my getting married is that I will live in Pasig which is much closer to Makati; and getting to most points in the metropolis won't require me to pay the exorbitant toll fees of the South Superhighway (Php55.0 from Nichols to Alabang exit).

That saddens me a little too. I've always loved living in the South (of Manila). Alabang is such a great place to live in - it is home for me. I put up with the long commutes and the traffic and the expense of travel for over a decade because it is such a great place and not just for the sentimentality of home.

Now I feel relieved that I'll be moving out - East of Manila and sort of central to the whole metropolis with the Ortigas commercial district being so near. Until the end of the year though, I will enjoy living with my parents and brothers and cherish what time I spend with them. That, I think, will make all this exhausting travel mean less and less.

Corporate Psychologist

2006-03-07T16:15:00.000+08:00

I'm not a psychologist. I am a manager for human resources who specializes in organization development. Currently, I've also been serving as an employee relations resource and at times I find myself cast as the shrink for managers.

Maybe this is because staff-level or frontline managers would hesitate to approach someone senior or ranking over them, I don't know. I do find myself having a managerial clientele. Most of the time, their issues concern that of other managers, specifically their own boss.

Not that this should be groundbreaking news, since most employee dissatisfaction is directed against the immediate or overall superior in the organization. I often wonder how big a difference it would make if the person venting my way would actually hold a conversation with her boss.

I mean, I'm a manager myself and I would find it immensely preferrable if my staff would rather communicate any issue or complaint (especially about me) to myself rather than to anyone else. I may be over-estimating my ability to understand or sympathize here, but what could I possibly do to them for honestly communicating dissatisfaction?

The fear is quite irrational actually. Particularly in my organization, I have yet to encounter a case wherein summary judgement and punishment was levied against an employee giving negative feedback to her boss in private. When did this ever happen? And since it has never happened, there's nothing in the past that leads to conditioning the employees to fear the boss.

Perhaps there are managers who actually prefer to employ fear as a means to govern her unit. There are, after all, managers who relate to their role as responsible for minimizing problems and controlling errors/variance in the quality of work.

Nothing wrong with that. I however, find that minimizing problems is an uninspiring goal. It's boring. I actually create problems. Yes, I intentionally create problems. Since I am intentional and responsible for the creation of these issues (particularly in their contextualization as problems to be solved), I actually specify the particulars - the what, when, where's and hows.

What's my point? I choose the problems that are worth my time.

I then enroll others in generating the solutions. What kinds of problems are worth our time? Creating growth and development in the long term in the face of near-constant changes and fluctuations in the organization and its processes - that's really inspiring for me. Also is creating and developing new leaders and giving them the reins to steer the organization in directions that can both surprise and inspire all its members

These are problems because they do not exist in the present, and that we want them to exist. I want them to exist. Now I have a problem.

In the face of these goals, my other problems disappear! Not like they don't exist in time, space and form; only that they cease to cause the disempowering symptoms of problems: negativity, resignation, complaining, resistance, frustration and the like.

Perhaps if I were an authentic psychologist, I'd be able to counsel these employees to behave in the manner that I described. Well, I wouldn't worry about it. That's not a problem that really concerns me. There are other ways of being, and I'm still going to listen.

Career Talk Part 2

2006-03-06T10:07:00.000+08:00

A very good friend saw it fit to invest in my potential - which to me at the time was stupendously high (though in hindsight, all I got was a quick wit, the willingness to read and research, and some teaching experience. Under his mentoring, I entered the world of training and development. My first run produced surprisingly negative results: my debut was to function as a coach of a team of senior executives of the Lopez group of companies - including the chairman himself. I thought the day went swimmingly - but the reaction they gave in their feedback was that I came on too strong (the details escape me now, but clearly the feedback wasn't complimentary).

Unfazed by that result, my mentor and friends closed ranks in support of me - which proved to be the difference maker in my persistence in pursuit of excellence in the field.

This became a pattern in my training delivery - the first impression I give leaves something to be desired. And my mentor took it all in stride, never wavering in his faith in my potential. In the leanest times he actually subsidized my expenses so as I can grow with less constraints than there really were.

While all of this was happening, I had evaluated my teaching and academic experience and concluded that I was no longer interested in studying and teaching literature. I had intentions of both studying and teaching, but I wanted to study business and management. I began to envision a course on the philosophy of management. I had always enjoyed the pleasure of thought and now I was beginning to see where I could actually make a contribution.

The plan was, enjoy great success as a professional consultant - and with that experience somehow earn a Ph.D honoris causa, then be qualified to teach the course. Until that happens, I would concentrate on building my business.

A watershed contribution by this man was to introduce me and sponsor me in registering to the Landmark Forum (and later, the Advanced Course). The foundational program of Landmark Education's Curriculum for Living, my participation in the course really led to the transformation of my self and my life. It was here that I took a stand for building a career in training and development (this was May, 2002). I was for the most part a 25-year old freelance consultant with infintessimal credentials. Any business I create was for the most part came through the intervention of my mentor, who subsumed his own commercial interests for the purposes of my own success and development.

I participated in Landmark Education's Assisting Program, and I must say that a lot of the practices and discipline that makes training events I got out of assisting in the delivery of the Landmark Forum. It was truly inspiring working with senior managers, presidents, and people who owned their own business give up their self-importance and serve others freely. It is as if (and in fact) the people who assist are out to get something for themselves out of the experience of serving others in the work of Landmark Education.

To date I actively participate in the Assisting Program for the different events within Landmark Education throughout the year.

As a freelance training and organization development consultant, I was able to work with many different companies (as an associate of different training and consulting outfits. I began to see the different issues and constraints that beset organizations large and small. I also began to get alarmed at how little influence the overwhelming majority of consulting interventions being delivered by the different providers I worked with actually have.

Not through any fault of the consultants, only that the conventions of the consulting business - pricing, the nature of the programs that companies actually purchase only allow for minimal if any deep and long-term impact on the organization.

I really couldn't see how I could be one of the high-level, deep-impact consultants I read about in management books. As much as I resisted the idea and the suggestions towards this end, the best thing for my consulting career was to actually become a member of an organization and work myself up to management. Business was nowhere near booming, as I began to learn that in the process of budget-trimming, the first budget to be cut is the training budget - which was the first and best foot-in-the-door for people like me, and our most consistent product.

(Still to come... POLITICS!)

Career Talk Part 1

2006-03-03T20:05:00.000+08:00

I use a FranklinCovey planner. It's a brown, soft leather-bound affair with well-thought design as far as the pages and the content; being a planning system developed within the framework of Stephen R. Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

I have a conversation with my self with the theme of "integrity" - which in this particular context means "complete" or "nothing's missing". In how-to terms it is "doing what I said I was going to do, by when I said I was going to do it." This is the background of my practice of planning my work.

In Landmark Education's Self-Expression and Leadership Program, I got a new access to integrity - PLAN YOUR WORK, WORK YOUR PLAN. Against the background of integrity, using this planner rocks. Well, for one thing it actually prompts you to plan your life. Not the kind of activity you normally schedule in your weekend, but before the year 2005 ended, this was exactly what I did.

A disclaimer: It's not like I've never really figured out what I wanted to do with my life prior to that weekend. It happened in the third weekend of November 2004 when I completed Landmark Education's Advanced Course; like really, I got what my life is for.

Back to the planner: It has a clever set of activities that allow you to articulate or distinguish key aspects of your self (such as your roles and values) that eventually leads to a draft of your personal mission statement. Anyone who's familiar with the 7 Habits framework will be aware of how central stating one's personal mission is, in the context of being a highly effective person. So here's what I drafted:

I am the possibility of Victory, Freedom and Love. Victory and Freedom for people is the gift of my Love for life itself.

I choose people as they are and this is my access to loving them for everything they are, and for everything they are not; allowing me to give them complete freedom to be and express themselves fully.

I am best able to express this possibility through providing rewarding and fulfilling work for many - and I do this through inspiring the creation of, and the responsible management of business; be it the ventures of others or ventures I undertake myself.

Through this work I am able to grow my family in the spirit of support and possibility - in my roles of loving partner and responsible father. I am the source of the fulfillment of their dreams and aspirations in a life of comfort, stability and love. (v2 03.04.2006)

Okay, so I got the personal mission statement down. Allow me to note that I actually am not married yet (that happens in December 2006 hello Alecon!), just that family is part of my mission and is a mission in itself as far as my life is concerned.

What I'm reflecting on in this post is how my career (past and present) is aligned to my mission. I studied in De La Salle University to earn a Bachelors degree majoring in literature and minoring in philosophy. At the time I was studying, I had aspirations of being a poet, novelist and essayist; whose writings will be poignant and provocative, deeply sensual and philosophically erudite all at once (So what if Milan Kundera already existed?). I would bankroll this career by working as a professor of literature as well as doing literary scholarship.

It didn't quite work out. Even as I was getting free graduate education, I was nowhere near making enough money to survive. I took on all sorts of jobs - copywriting for real estate ads, secretariat for cultural events sponsored by the government. I found myself teaching and working and studying and partying - but writing very little.

I left the academe and joined the media. I worked as a copy writer, news writer, producer and anchor for an AM radio station - my first time to be really away from school and in "the real world". It became quite the adventure as I got to write and deliver news of the more recent of EDSA revolts. It also brought me face-to-face with incompetent or unfair management for the first time.

That boat sunk, and I was then learning the ropes of becoming a film producer (I then had aspirations of being a film director). I had a brilliant mentor in Jun Urbano, though I must say I completely squandered that opportunity - because then I really thought too much of myself and did not possess the humility to work my way from the cellar.

Sales. Insurance, real estate, healthcare, home and office security systems - you name it, I peddled it; with spectacularly underwhelming results. This must have frustrated all those people who recruited me and saw in me a sharp and engaging personality so suited for salesmanship. What I did not have is the industriousness, the diligence, and the humility required to make cold calls and move product.

(To be continued... NEXT: Training and Development, POLITICS!)

Blog Envy

2006-03-02T03:03:00.000+08:00

Okay, I finally did it. I was getting impatient witht the limitations of my friendster blog so That's the Game! 2.0 is here. I was so impressed with seekers anonymous and how smooth the transition from friendster was accomplished with all these new bells and whistles that I really committed to start a blog here.

What I probably won't do is transfer all my posts like what Betty did in the aforementioned blog. i can't believe the amount of effort it must have taken here to do so. I will then end up maintaining both blogs. How can I possibly do that?

I'm considering making this blog a clearing for full self-expression. Not that the previous one isn't, only that I feel like I can explore and write about a broader set of topics here and work with code - which opens up new realms of possibilities for my writing.

Yesterday I dropped by my alma mater De La Salle University where I finished with a degree majoring in Literature and a minor in Philosophy. Looking back at what my aspirations were as a student of the literary pursuits, I was limited in my notion of literary forms - poetry, fiction, essays, and drama.

So much so, that I was writing in my blog with a view to categorize my output in one of the standard literary forms - the most convenient category being the essay. However, journal entries may or may not follow the conventions of the literary essay. To save myself and any reader the trouble of figuring out how to relate to these writings - let us just call it a blog, and let it's youth (as a writing and publishing form) determine its own conventions.

So in a paragraph, I have put on airs as a self-published writer. And yes, I am so loving it.

Well, this post ain't no hoity-toity literary nugget, but that won't stop me from writing, hehe.

So here it is, my new blog - a repository of rhetoric and conversation between myself and my real and imagined public. And that's the game.